So my wife and I have entered a new stage in our parenting journey. It didn’t happen overnight, but definitely in the past year at some point we looked at our calendar and there was just… zero blank space, as far as the eye could see.
Now that the boys are into their extracurriculars (and not just dabbling, but have chosen their respective ‘things’ they’re passionate about), we’re always on the go. Between baseball, soccer, swim team, robotics, theater, etc, what used to be a lot of quiet evenings is now going from this practice to that coaching session to which field is this game at to when are we fitting in dinner here?
It’s wild, and I love that they’ve found things they love. But if I thought I barely had any free time before…? Oh, you sweet summer child.
On the plus side, your backlog is gonna be huge when your youngest son starts college. You’ll have so many games to catch up on during the empty nest stage.
That’s roughly the time that you decide you need to renovate the entire house though, isn’t it?
You’d have to own a house in order to renovate it. Nobody can afford to own a house anymore.
Meh…
I own a house.
Can I afford to maintain it tho?
That’s the question…
I think you mean purchase. I own my home. And I believe Tim does too.
This is 100% true! I am so excited to finally play Windwaker. Plus my garage has been seriously neglected in GT3. Oh…I also picked up Beyond Good and Evil. IGN gave it such a high rating and I’m always on the look out for off-beat games like that. So stoked!
oooh BG&E is really good! A tad repetitive but in such a fun way you really won’t mind. It’s really sad BG&E2 never happened even tho it seemed to be coming under way nicely 🙁
I can definitely relate to this. I often feel like my kids have too many activities (way more than I had when I was a kid) but when I compare to other kids their age, they are just in the average… And our house is close to many of them, so I think we spend less time than the average in travel… and in fact, when I am honest, I still have a bit of free time here and there. It’s just I have trouble doing anything meaningful with 10min here and 15min there. I really don’t know how other… Read more »
“How do other parents do it” is what I think every time they tell me about their kids schedules, our oldest is just now is sports, piano, dance, etc and that is crazy enough already.
I obviously don’t know your situation, but I think a lot of it depends on how much help you have from grandparents and things like that. My wife and I both work normal full time jobs with one kindergartner. They do 3 activities and we feel like it’s a lot to keep up with, but we also do not have any family nearby.
A lot of our friends with kids in multiple activities have grandma pick one up from school, or help with dinner, or whatever and I feel like that makes a huge difference.
Work from home 😉
Sometimes comicstrips can be oh so true… 😀
We will talk in a few years, my daughter is only 4 months old, so starting to lose free time, but still got it
Ironicly I’m still stuck at frame 2. And no intention to date and try to have kids. But.. nowadays way too many of my friends are jealous of me because of it because they’re stuck around frame 5 and 6.
But the question is here: what is the path best taken? Free time is rare, but none of my friends want to give up the time and memories they’ve made getting there.
So: Is it bad that you have no spare time but a wife and 2 kids you love with your life?
Honestly, I don’t think there is a definitive right answer here. This is a choice each individual makes for themselves: use your time for you OR share that time with others. Both options come with pros and cons.
I feel like this decision has already been made for me, even if I wanted a wife and kids, I’m simply too late. I can’t even get a date. 🙄🤷♂️
My dad just got engaged at 75-ish years old! Plenty of time!!!!
There’s always time if it’s something you want to do. Emphasis being on that if, because it doesn’t tend to work out great if everyone isn’t invested in it. The nice thing with being a bit older is that we both knew ourselves and weren’t interested in playing around, so there were no games. I wouldn’t even say that we dated, per se. I shot her an email after friends and family put us in touch, despite living 1500 miles apart. We were able to dive into deep conversations on day one, were broaching the topic of marriage within the… Read more »
it is bad and you’ll regret it one day and have zero regrets the next and many again the next day. it’s just life. I think it’s worse if you had kids while you didn’t really want to have any…
It’s in the nature of trade-offs that they come with upsides and downsides.
There is no optimal play here.
My youngest just went off to college, so im out the other end of this one. Dont worry: the free time comes back. Ill let you know when the unallocated funds come back – still hasnt happened…..
and then it’s gone again when the grandkids come in and they start asking you to babysit and take em everywhere 😉
Don’t worry, it swings back the other way, Tim. My eldest just left home and we’re down to one that just started High School. I have free time coming out of my ears.
where is the sleeptime loanshark?
Siri, play “Dust In The Wind” by Kansas.
Yay, finally a Slice of Life update – missed those. On the bad side of my life: seperated, but living together for whatever amount of years to come. Do not ask, it is not easy and she is a Narcisist on top but hey. We have a wonderful daughter, who is super invested into Teakwondo (traditional) and competitive Hiphop (already 2 times Champion and 1 time vice at the age of 6…holy cow, am I proud). And I am the “houseman”, so I know how this feels. But you know…I am absolutely okay with this. I love seeing her strife… Read more »
Ok, I won’t ask, but I will just say what I wish someone would’ve told me sooner: you are not alone. The strenght you have to burden this situation can also be the strenght you have to get out and live on your own terms. Your daughter will love you just the same (if not more, for you might be more “whole”).
Virtual hug brother.
Thank you, Alberto. I would never say I am perfect, or that I may have caused something here and there – I am however at the point where I absolutely know that these were normal relationship things. I stay in the house solely for the sake of our daughter. Since my “still wife” has had a few times over the years when she put her narcissism against our daughter, playing the victim role (and making our daughter of not even 7 come crying to me). Anyways, I am growing and moving forward. I am in therapy (because of this) and… Read more »
Thankfully we have one work from home parent, and I at least am hybrid. If we didn’t have that (like the ability to throw in laundry during the day even though we’re not “supposed” to… even though frankly I lose far more “work” time on office days just from commuting, walking to & from the bathroom at the office & being interrupted by chatty co-workers…), I weep to think of how dysfunctional things would be. The trick is to pass them off between the two parents so one of you has time to get stuff done and gets a break.… Read more »
Oh look…I’m in this comic!
Are you into sports? 😉
I’m into WATCHING sports…
And that, is how my exit from running a guild in WoW and gaming in general occurred. This definitely hit home haha.
My kids are now in their mid- to late thirties. After seeing my friends do exactly what you’re doing now, including one who got up at 3 a.m. to drive his son to speed-skating competitions across the province, I said, “No, we’re not doing that.” Our kids had swimming lessons so they would not drown, piano and violin lessons because we (their parents) are musicians, and karate because they wanted to do that. My son had a very brief career in little league baseball (one summer) and quit in despair after realizing that he sucked. He discovered a passion for… Read more »
55 year old parent here. You need to add a frame at the end where the kids move out at 18 and suddenly you get all the time back. Of course, by then you’re too tired to do anything with it…
Mine is grown, working part time, going to college and dating. Your free time will return after they’ve started driving. You can kiss your money and peace of mind goodbye though. Good luck
This is painfully truthful.
But as a recently divorced father of 2 (11 and 9), the one piece of advice I would give anyone is to try as hard as you can to have a support structure (grandparents, sibilings, cousins, neighbors, etc.) to share some of the load of parenting, lest it starts eating away past the “free” time, and into time as a couple, as a functional adult beyond just parenting.
Time for oneself should not be a luxury. Western civilization romanticizes too much this notion of shouldering everything by yourself.
I live by myself at age 60….and my free time is limited. I like to stay busy, it makes me feel useful to myself and others. Gaming is a part of this, but not THE part if you catch my meaning. You just make the time you need for what you want to do, life finds a way.
Running is sport! And they can do it around the block.
Yep, I call it the evolution of the gamer.
Having gotten past all of this, I have to say that my gaming time has evolved and isn’t quite as time-consuming as it used to be. Could I play more? Sure. But then I wouldn’t be engaging in my other hobbies like 3D printing and streaming board games (like, physical games on the table). And before you say it, those board games aren’t as much gaming for me as it is entertaining others.
All that to say: by the time you come back, your goals will probably be different. Just roll with it and you’ll get there!
i feel like someone has nostalgia goggles on. cause i remember pretty vivid how it was as a kid: Frame 1: all this for me Frame 2: oh i have to go to school, Frame 3: i have to do homework for multipile classes and group projekts after school, Frame 4: i have to do chores around the house and extra chores on weekend. Frame 5: *looks at tine stone left* well…i can work with that. Mom: you are way to lazy, Go join an afterschool club or else. *last bit of rock breaks away.* i actually had MORE time… Read more »
I figured it out when I was like 13 or so. 42 now. Never in a relationship. Never dated. Never even tried to. Only downside is that when there’s weekend and there are no games to play, I get sooo bored I’m going crazy.
Enjoy it while it lasts. My eldest is off to university this weekend. I’d happily trade all the time that will free up to have them at home for another year.
I have zero doubts about that. We try to cherish as much of it in the moment as we can. It goes too quickly no matter what we do.
Do remember the Tim and Wife time too, that is important too.
“I’m into sports.” Cool story go watch it on tv or play a sports video game. Daddy’s busy with what little bit of personal time I have left.
You are doing it right sir! I would give anything to make up for the time I spent playing EQ vs spending more time with my kids when they were little. So many regrets=(.
My youngest is a sophomore in college now, I’m really enjoying spending 4 hours a night on satisfactory, and I’ve got Frostpunk II all queued up.
I feel ya! I was just complaining about just not having adapted to the new schoolyear with the new after-school-activity times cuz when they move up a class the hours also change. My oldest (11) has guitar on wednesdays from 5 to 6pm and then again from 7 to 8pm . So 1h in between he just has to wait and eat his sandwiches for dinner cuz it’s just a tad too far to come back home in between these classes. On thursday our youngest (8) has violin from 5 to 6pm (my husband is now working from home this… Read more »
Love seeing a present and loving father. It’s worth it. My girls are 19 & 16. They’ve lived with me for the last 6 years, only a few years until it’s going to get really quiet around the house.
Priority1: Keep them alive
Priority 2: Turn these lumps of human clay into functioning adults.
Just wait until one of them discovers public speaking and debate.
My sister has kids, one in sports and the other still too little. They have literally negative free time. Some how I have to spend my free time, watching their kid, just so they can keep up.
Thank you for the heads up! My kids aren’t there yet and we’re TRYING to get them into more things.
These kinds of activities make me grateful for phones, laptops, and portable gaming consoles though =D
Very true. You should relish every moment you get to watch your kids practice and play. Because one day, you are going to wake up, and it will be over. And you will miss it. And if you ever find that your life isn’t living up to it’s fullest insanity level – you can volunteer to start coaching… I started coaching to help out my oldest’s volleyball team. That is when you really know that you are alive – when you work a full time 9 hour a day job, run a sports club, coach a team in the club,… Read more »
I coach baseball and my wife coaches soccer XD It’s crazy, but I wouldn’t trade a minute of it.
Mine did a year in soccer (but didn’t love it), did some karate, some tae kwon do, some aikido, and coding… none really stuck. She likes baseball, but in the spectator version. You still need to find ways to have some ‘couple time’. The relationship needs it. I was advised at one point (because was caring for my disabled mother, my disabled father-in-law, my 50% disabled wife, and my daughter – help for academics) to take 15 minutes each day to do a bit of what you like just so you don’t go crazy. Make the room. I’ve seen many… Read more »
Overe here, sure, kids’ sports activities do eat away a chunk of our free time. But for stuff like Judo practice, they ride their bikes, so I’m pretty much only involved in making sure they get out of the house at the right time. But then we don’t live in the “land of the free”. 😉
Have you gotten to the point when you realize you don’t really need THAT MUCH sleep?
Hang in there. In a few years, your child will learn to drive, and your free time will rematerialize. Of course, you’ll also have to contend with a spike in insurance costs and the worry that they’re going to wreck the car, but at least you’ll no longer have an unpaid side gig as a driver.
This feels familair… ohh wait my son just started so 3x a week 2 hours gone.
Why we stick to one sport and then Trail Life as our activities. We don’t want activity overload. For cost reasons as well as time.
This was me for the past, oh, ten years? Different things, but same demands.
This is why, despite the graphical downgrade, I will always be relying on hybrid gaming. Each gen, I get the Nintendo geegaw, along with either a PlayStation or XBox to catch up on the third parties. Right now, it’s not PS5 or XSX that is swaying me, but Steam Deck.
This might come as a cultural shock to some, but in Poland kids get self reliant very fast. Thus, when they are about 9-12 years old they commune to their extra curriculums on their own. Unless the parent is passionate about watching their kid do the Thing he likes usually the kids just go on their own and then talk about it once they are back home. I don’t know if it changed in the place you are from, but I heard Canadians are really strict about not letting their children walk school/home even.
Just an idea have you tried networking with other parents for practices. Arrange carpools and take turns.
Pfft, if they’re into sports, they aren’t my kid.
I fully understand the feeling he’s sharing here, but now here’s the real kicker, I went through all the panels he has up here, now add 2 more, I’m almost 65, I HAVE the time now (mostly) but thanks to age and arthritis, I can’t play FPS games, reaction time is shot, that’s ok, RPG’s are my passion, FFVII remake! YES! Wait, timed button mashing? WTF? Mini-games are relying on fast reflexes?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo….. last panel, in a coffin, favorite controller gripped in gnarled fingers, My wife and kids crying, while my grandson tries one last time to take my controller… Read more »
Dark I know, this getting old is gettin’ ole.