I enjoy a number of genres (extraction shooters, for one example) that my particular friend group just doesn’t seem to have any interest in. But I find that any desire to have a go-to group to play these games with is dwarfed by a lack of the emotional energy and time required to forge a new relationship from scratch.
I (and my wife as well, actually) have accepted sometime ago that perhaps we just do not have the bandwidth to expand our social group at this point. We have our established friends, and while we regularly encounter other adults and say “oh they’re really nice, we should invite them over/get to know them better”… we never actually do. Friendships are like plants, right? In order to grow and thrive they need attention, they need constant watering, especially at the beginning, or they shrivel and die. And… I don’t know where that attention is supposed to come from.
To use Tolkien’s perfect phrase, “like butter scraped over too much bread,” by the time I’ve given the people already in my life (wife, kids, existing friends, me) the attention they need, there’s nothing left.
So instead, I am content to play these games with my Tyler Durden ‘Single-Serving Friends,’ temporary and superficial acquaintances for a match or two. One-night stands without the commitment of a friend-listing.
You are not alone in this Tim. My bandwith is smallband. I can’t maintain more than 2 – 3 actual friends outside of my already huge family. Lucky for me, they understand me and don’t require me to meet up on a regular basis 😀
That’s really cold, Tim. He’d even gotten hand-engraved his & his controllers for the wedding. 🙁
I should add: for those of us matchmaking in European servers it’s pot luck if the person on the other end even speaks the same language as you. Making even less appealing (to me, at least).
using audio with strangers? Never!
I am the same way, plus I am also very introverted. So even when I do accept friend requests, I don’t ever end up playing with them again anyway. However, there was one person who’s friend request I did accept who was always on and always asking to play and I ended up playing with them more than twice and now they are one of my best friends. They are also the only person I have ever met online, who I then later met in person(which again is huge since I am an introvert). Most randos are strangers and that… Read more »
That, and the incipient paranoia in on-line life. Mind you, just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean that they aren’t out to get you.
Well, you see, I am like this also. I was playing Deceit game. A gal invited me. I declined. We matched again. She didn’t recognize me, but invited me again. I had a crush on her. Then I married our common friend. Now I don’t care and am in love with my wife. So actually accepting those requests might benefit you in a long run in a very unexpected way.