I picked up The Sims 3 last week. To date I’ve gotten all of maybe ten minutes with it. I have had the opportunity to watch Britanny play it quite a bit though.

My impressions of the game so far: It looks very similar to The Sims 2, with some changes here and there. I am hearing from fans of the series that there are some huge issues with the game (no sharing of custom content, can only play one family at a time), which is a pretty big bummer.

Still, Britanny is enjoying it, and I am enjoying watching her play. She always starts her Sims games the same way. She makes a trio of roommates, a la Three’s Company. Then, rather than purchase a house (furnished or unfurnished), she spends her entire bank account buying a new lot and building them a house.

However “building them a house” does not include floors, or wall coverings, or furniture past a bed and sofa. She then moves her Sims into this ‘house’ (which one time, in the Sims 2, did not even include a roof), and immediately puts them all to work to slowly improve their impoverished existence.

These Sims live the life of college students, often waking up late for work, not showering, no entertainment to speak of, forced to read book after book to gain skills which can be used to garner more wages in the work force.

What’s more, two of these roommates are designed to hook up, whether they like it or not, like some sort of south Asian arranged marriage. Which also means that the third wheel roommate inevitably must try to fall asleep alone every night to the sounds of his friends gettin’ some.

I assume she plays the game this way, forcing her Sims to wallow in misery, so that when she does bestow them with touches of luxury such as a television, lights or floors, it has the power to immediately pull them back from the brink of self-destruction, and give them just enough will to live through those next few skill levels in hopes of a promotion. In hopes of someday finally being financially free.

But, unfortunately for those poor little Sims… that day will never come. Britanny will probably get bored of the game before her Sims know happiness, and they will forever be stuck in the purgatory of that last save file, unable to fulfill their dreams, unable to stuff themselves in the oven.

Ha.