On Wednesday I tweeted about an article I saw that suggested Johnny Depp was being cast as the Doctor in an upcoming Doctor Who feature film. Someone responded along the lines of “Oh no, are they Americanizing Doctor Who?” Of course, that immediately got me thinking about an Americanized Doctor Who. Hey, at least I kept an English guy in the lead role, right? (interesting side-note, I didn’t know that Jason Statham was actually one of the actors rumored to be in consideration for the eleventh Doctor until after I’d drawn the comic and came across that in some research. Funny)

I’m a relatively new and noobish Doctor Who fan. A year ago I picked up the first season of the newer series, and enjoyed it. I bought the next couple of seasons, but haven’t gotten around to watching them yet. So as of right now, Eccleston is the only Doctor I’ve spent any time with (but I’m excited for the next seasons because I hear great things about Tennant). Still, I feel I’m familiar enough with the show and its history, and that I like the show enough to form the opinion that Johnny Depp as the Doctor is a bad call. And this is coming from someone who enjoy’s Depp’s work.

Here’s the thing… I love my country, I’m proud to be American… but we fuck up Britain’s stuff. Seriously. Case in point, the recent Death at a Funeral remake. That was an atrocious affront to a well-made and hilarious movie. Totally uncalled for. An exception would be, I guess, our version of the Office. I wouldn’t say ours is better, but ours ended up different enough to be good on its own, to do its own thing. I didn’t feel it punched Gervais’ version in the nutsack and vomited in its ear cavity like most of our remakes of British stuff.

We fucked up Great Britain’s shit in the Revolutionary War. Can’t that be enough? We got our independance out of it. I don’t see why we need to continue to donkey-punch their entertainment as well. Especially not one of their most famous, longest-running sci-fi shows (if this rumor has any merit whatsoever).

To my readers across the pond, I’d like to apologize on behalf of the nitwits in Hollywood, and the American public who goes to see this stuff without knowing any better.