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24

The Herald

November 3, 2023 by Tim

Steel yourselves, it’s coming…


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leduk
leduk
28 days ago

That’s why I dont go inside store, but order online and take it to go. This protects my sanity.

Smol Bear
Smol Bear
28 days ago

Ethan understands the concept of sanity. Interesting…

bubbafett1936
bubbafett1936
27 days ago
Reply to  Smol Bear

I mean, “sanity”

Black_Mammoth
Black_Mammoth
26 days ago
Reply to  Smol Bear

Just because he understands the CONCEPT of sanity doesn’t mean he actively practices it!

Ocramot
Ocramot
28 days ago

In Ethan’s defense, I suspect at this point people who put THAT song in public places KNOW what they’re doing, and therefore they are villains.

Grimjahk
Grimjahk
27 days ago
Reply to  Ocramot

I wonder what percentage of readers know the song without looking it up. Sadly i knew instantly.

kaladorn
kaladorn
18 days ago
Reply to  Grimjahk

Apparently I would need to look it up. On the other hand, I know a bit about Hogmanay and First Footing. Just different backgrounds.

Cheuk
Cheuk
28 days ago

I stand by Ethan. He’s a true hero. It’s the FIRST WEEK OF NOVEMBER dang namit!

Tim
Tim
28 days ago
Reply to  Cheuk

I don’t know in the US but in France, every kid related media is PLAGGED by christmas adds since at least early October…

leduk
leduk
28 days ago
Reply to  Tim

Idée: couper la TV, quitte à remplacer par netflix ou assimilé.

Merida
Merida
28 days ago
Reply to  leduk

I don’t know French but was that “Idea: Quit tv and replace with Netflix”?

Grumpf
Grumpf
27 days ago
Reply to  Merida

It’s nearly that, it’s just missing a few details.

“quitte” here is a false friend that looks like “quit”, but it has a very different meaning in this context.

The sentence is actually recommending to get rid of TV broadcast and not replace it with anything. But then, if you really need a replacement, then it’s suggesting to turn to Netflix and other streaming services.

Swiftbow
Swiftbow
27 days ago
Reply to  Grumpf

Which also have Christmas ads…

leduk
leduk
27 days ago
Reply to  Swiftbow

I dont have ads on netflix?!

Frizbee
Frizbee
25 days ago
Reply to  leduk

Ads have been introduced in some countries, on the cheapest “base” plan for Netflix, who also scrapped their “Standard” plan, so it’s ads, or paying for the premium subscription each month.

KillerDragon989
KillerDragon989
28 days ago
Reply to  Tim

Same in the US. Plus Christmas songs at some places early to mid October….

Grumpf
Grumpf
27 days ago
Reply to  Tim

Yeah, since we don’t have have Thanksgiving and we pretty much don’t celebrate Halloween, it’s just open hunting season for marketing people to start shoving Christmas down our throats.

And then, as soon as Christmas is gone, it’s time for shops to get filled with mountains of chocolate Easter eggs…

Nobody
Nobody
27 days ago
Reply to  Tim

In the US it used to be that Christmas advertising didn’t start until the day after Thanksgiving. Unfortunately once someone broke the truce Christmas started expanding.

Remember remember the 3rd Thursday of November. The first casualty in the war against Christmas and it’s desire to consume the full year.

ZFTX
ZFTX
27 days ago
Reply to  Nobody

4th Thursday of November.

kaladorn
kaladorn
18 days ago
Reply to  Nobody

That’s kind of ironic; Amazon has taught us that I can order everything for Christmas on the 23rd and it will arrive with the 24th. Why exactly do I need two months and change of Christmas?

I assume it really is one of those 1960s-like black projects which are testing out sanity and how to break it. They seem to be succeeding.

leduk
leduk
28 days ago
Reply to  Cheuk

I mean, usually, music in that kind of place is allready shitty. So, a new kind of shit for a few month, meh.

Matt
Matt
28 days ago

In the name of all that is holy thank whichever deity listens that the world understands the need to not hear Christmas/holiday music till December at the earliest.
I knew Ethan was sane. just like Chef Brian.

Antique Alien
Antique Alien
28 days ago

Someone above me has been blasting Christmas music way to loud. I’m in the dorm below them, and I can hear it clearly. It’s way to early for this/

James
James
28 days ago
Reply to  Antique Alien

Homicide, it’s their only way out.

kaladorn
kaladorn
18 days ago
Reply to  James

Well, if you don’t want to terminate yourself…

ouRKaoS
ouRKaoS
28 days ago
Reply to  Antique Alien

Respond by blaring metal covers to children’s songs. Baby Shark is a good one.

Merida
Merida
28 days ago
Reply to  ouRKaoS

Baby metal

Dagroth
Dagroth
28 days ago
Reply to  ouRKaoS

There’s a metal cover of Baby Shark? Now I’m torn between looking it up and being afraid of doing so. 😉

Antique Alien
Antique Alien
27 days ago
Reply to  Dagroth

Honestly, me too.

kaladorn
kaladorn
18 days ago
Reply to  ouRKaoS

I think ‘Let It Go!’ from Frozen would be about as potent. Or the Lego Movie’s ‘Everyone is Awesome!’.

Aeglor
Aeglor
28 days ago

I guess we all agree that Ethan is doing the right thing. The real question here is: what happened during the meatball accident?

rebmcr
rebmcr
28 days ago
Reply to  Aeglor

It’s a Calvin & Hobbes reference

TheHalfBoy
TheHalfBoy
28 days ago
Reply to  rebmcr

The noodle incident! They never proved that was Calvin!

Fafnir13
Fafnir13
26 days ago
Reply to  rebmcr

That would explain all the sirens around noon.

Daniel Sørensen
Daniel Sørensen
28 days ago

Stay strong my brothers and sisters. It’s going to be a long two months

smiley
smiley
28 days ago

Oh gosh, this means it’s whamagedden 2023 already

Firesong
Firesong
28 days ago
Reply to  smiley

No, the whamfather has decreed Whamaggedon only begins Dec 1st. Any Whamming before then is non-lethal.

evilleet
evilleet
28 days ago

All i want from christmas ….

…is to start at the first of december and end at the 26th at night and then forgotten about it.

Nayrael
Nayrael
28 days ago

Is playing cringe Christmas songs in stores something common in America?

Last edited 28 days ago by Nayrael
anonymouse
anonymouse
28 days ago
Reply to  Nayrael

trust me…that question is a understatement of the CENTURY. we get cringe christmas songs as early as november 1st, and big name (and a lot of small name) stores set up christmas decorations and products as early as OCTOBER 1st. they say its to “keep ahead of the holiday rush” and is on orders from “upper management” i talked with a few employees, they dont like doing it, they dont like the customers being unhappy about a holiday change 2 months or more in advance, especially when people are coming there for a holiday during a specific month, but they… Read more »

AustynSN
AustynSN
28 days ago
Reply to  anonymouse

October??? I saw Christmas crap in my local CostCo back in August. Cracker Barrel had that shit out in July.

kaladorn
kaladorn
18 days ago
Reply to  AustynSN

Can 12 months, 365 days of Christmas be far away? We’ve had Hallmark type romantic Christmas movies on TV here in July. July! JULYYYYY!!!!!!!

I mean, they’re escapist fun for those that like it. But it is odd to be sitting in 30 C and watching people in snowy settings….

21stCenturyPeon
21stCenturyPeon
28 days ago

We need to work together to replace it with Run DMC’s “Christmas in Hollis” in the seasonal playlists. We can do it, people! Write to your elected officials! Lobby your branch managers!

Kaz
Kaz
28 days ago

Or maybe some of Weird Al’s works: “Christmas at Ground Zero” and “The Night Santa went Crazy” would be a nice counterpoint to most of the songs that are coming our way…

Antique Alien
Antique Alien
27 days ago

There’s also the album Punk goes Christmas. It’s got a lot of fun Christmas adjacent music, and it’s actually got almost all of the (non traditional) Christmas music I like there.

Rolan7
Rolan7
25 days ago

I’m partial to the Lovecraft Mythos-remixed carols. They’re spooky and some are really catchy, easy to find on Youtube!

Gonfrask
Gonfrask
28 days ago

Well, I worked in a toy mall store for years, so my sanity is mostly gone… in fact I even enjoy the song

Last edited 28 days ago by Gonfrask
Urainkhali
Urainkhali
28 days ago

Ethan is the hero we need. The illegal occupation of November and nowadays of October by Christmas must stop!

DanVzare
DanVzare
28 days ago

Considering I’m starting to see Christmas decorations at the end of August, I think it’s safe to say that we lost the war against people who continue to celebrate Christmas earlier and earlier every year.

One day Christmas is just going to be year round.

Sigh… I never thought I’d say this, but I miss when people used to consider the 1st of November the time to start the Christmas season.

Drakin
Drakin
28 days ago
Reply to  DanVzare

Actually offering Christmas stuff year round might be the answer to de-power it. It’s like knowing you have chocolate cake available as dessert for every meal. Sooner or later you’re going to get sick of it and it’ll just fade into the daily noise of life. The commercialism side of Christmas is only powerful in it’s scarcity. If we’re saturated year round….

I’m all for SPIRIT of Christmas to be seasonal, but the commercialism needs to be knocked down a few pegs.

Hunter
Hunter
28 days ago

Working in retail ruined Christmas for me. The same songs repeated over and over again. 5 years… 5 Christmases.

I now get PTSD when the Christmas music starts.

Ashi
Ashi
28 days ago

Why do I get flashbacks to CAD 1.0’s “Damnit Ethan, stop breaking shit!”

Eldest Gruff
Eldest Gruff
28 days ago
Reply to  Ashi

OK, that’s “random acts of insanity” Ethan. This Ethan is doing God’s work.

Dagroth
Dagroth
28 days ago
Reply to  Eldest Gruff

Will he flood all stores playing Christmas music too early?
Have the first born sons of the owners killed?
Or just outright raze the stores and (somehow) turn anyone watching into a pillar of salt?

Bwauder
Bwauder
28 days ago

Its as bad as Hot Cross buns being available from Boxing Day, but that zoomed past and reached straight jacket level a couple of years back when they decided “they’re such a popular item we’ll make them available all year round”

Dagroth
Dagroth
28 days ago
Reply to  Bwauder

I don’t know Hot Cross (guess they are not present over here), but if they are selling the stuff year round, doesn’t that make it just one more regular product, losing any Christmas connotations?

Kaz
Kaz
28 days ago
Reply to  Dagroth

They have Easter connotations: a spiced fruit bun with dough laid over the top in the shape of a cross.

As mentioned by GP, the window for marketing them has recently expanded to fill all twelve months of the year.

AustynSN
AustynSN
28 days ago

Ethan isn’t the hero we deserve, but he is the hero we need.

Kenju
Kenju
28 days ago

Tim, it’s not coming, it’s already here. They started playing Christmas music two days ago on the east coast….even worse, it was in fact *THAT* song.

FireballDragon
FireballDragon
28 days ago

The only thing more inhumane than that is the actual physical violence during Black Friday sales.

Tim
Tim
28 days ago

Ah, the time of year when earbuds become standard shopping gear. I can’t hear holiday abominations on repeat if I’m flooding my grey matter with hardcore EDM.

Crestlinger
Crestlinger
28 days ago

Personally I would like to have All Christmas stuff banned. Not ‘not played’ or ‘decorations set up’ BANNED with a $100000 fine per Store at least until After November 11 for Remembrance Day up here out of respect for our heroes who earned us all this.

Aaron Morano
Aaron Morano
28 days ago

Where the hell have you been?!? They have had Xmas stuff up since before Halloween here in Michigan. F-in ridiculous.

Shenodin
Shenodin
28 days ago

That last panel kinda looks like Lucas is a dude with brown hair wearing a Lucas mask…

VibrantEvolution
VibrantEvolution
28 days ago

Half octobre I was looking for halloween stuff and could barely find anything cuz they said “I was early”. Meanwhile there were already christmastree-decorations on the shelves. Soon they’ll just leave everything all year round x_x

RblDiver
RblDiver
28 days ago

At least it didn’t start before Halloween!

Gerry
Gerry
28 days ago

Winter…is coming

Last edited 28 days ago by Gerry
KillerDragon989
KillerDragon989
28 days ago

Personally to get through the holidays I will listen to some Christmas music, however, a majority of Christmas music would be Twisted Christmas carols. Aaaand listening to A Christmas Carol narrated by Sir Patrick Stewart at least twice while I go about my day.

Sianist
Sianist
28 days ago

And that’s why i always wear my headset with loud metal while shopping… no annoyance by unsolicited Christmas muzak

West
West
28 days ago

I’m with Ethan on this one.

Merida
Merida
28 days ago

Ironically, I have seen more about this song on webcomics and imgur bashing early Christmas than actually hearing or seeing it in person. At this point the satire has become part of the early Christmas and pushing awareness of the holiday far earlier.

Pulse
Pulse
27 days ago

im with ethan, until turkey has been served i better not hear any christmas music.

kristoffer
kristoffer
27 days ago

Coming? It’s already here 🙁

Kevin Greenbaum
Kevin Greenbaum
27 days ago

Now I need to know about the meatball incident.

Verdiekus
Verdiekus
27 days ago

Fuck that, I’m on Ethan’s side here!

Mr_Meng
Mr_Meng
27 days ago

As someone who’s always been unfazed by holiday music starting in November(I still enjoy hearing ‘Wonderful Christmastime’) it’s always funny to see people absolutely lose their crap over it.

Last edited 27 days ago by Mr_Meng
Anonymous 2.0
Anonymous 2.0
27 days ago

No Christmas till after thanksgiving. Miss those days.

Nibelung
Nibelung
27 days ago

I’m not from USA, and I don’t recognize the song. Can someone give me a title?

Mike
Mike
27 days ago
Reply to  Nibelung

It’s probably I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas.

Kaz
Kaz
27 days ago
Reply to  Nibelung

All I Want for Christmas is You, by Mariah Carey.

I’ll let you decide whether you want to seek it out and listen to it. (Wikipedia may be a safer place to start.)

Anshin
Anshin
27 days ago

Steel yourselves, it’s coming…

I’m sure you meant to say, she’s coming…

Alex
Alex
27 days ago

In Australia, Christmas starts in September with a brief interlude for Halloween candy. We just had a Christmas pageant this morning.

Kaz
Kaz
27 days ago
Reply to  Alex

You start at a disadvantage down there, what with all this Western media praising a wintery Christmas while you’re in the middle of summer.

Scarsdale
Scarsdale
27 days ago

I worked as a greeter at Walmart for just over a year, X-mas displays started to go up mid-September. They barely showed anything about Halloween or Thanksgiving, just a single isle of candy’s and costumes, the same with the decorations for Thanksgiving.The VERY next day after Halloween the music started…. (head thudding on the wall…)

Chibi-Acer
Chibi-Acer
27 days ago

At least it makes me feel less guilty about wearing my xmas “ugly sweater” fuzzy leggings to keep warm. Hehe😆

James Kite
James Kite
26 days ago

Halloween has finally become more of a thing here in Australia, and I am grateful, because now Christmas starts being obnoxious 1st of November, where as it was beginning late September.

So this year has been a massive improvement.

Even if Christmas decorations did begin showing up early-mid October on the shelves.

Kaelin
Kaelin
26 days ago

As someone who works in a grocery store, I wholely approve of this move.

Vukodlak
Vukodlak
26 days ago

I think Mr Wintermas who created a second Christmas has no right to judge.

Charly-I-Don'-Want-A-Lot-For...
Charly-I-Don'-Want-A-Lot-For...
25 days ago

If you can’t win them, join them – let’s go for the Singularity.
Only this song. All year. Lights never get taken down. Santas never leave entrances. First we announce Summer Christmas. Then smaller Christmas each month. Then pre-Christmas training Christmas each Friday… And then .. One day we’ll sit down for Christmas feast, red-eyed and tired from all the jolly and miseltoe and more and more wine each day… and we’ll never get up again.
Basically Matrix meets Wall-E, only voluntary, red and green, and financed by Amazon and what not. 🙂

night
night
25 days ago

More self-aggrandising superhero nonsense. It’s just unreadable. Let’s pray it’s a short stint and then back to starcaster… or anything else really.

Frizbee
Frizbee
25 days ago

I walked into a store in August that had christmas stuff up and for sale.

Foxhood
Foxhood
25 days ago

We dutch get at least somewhat of a buffer in the form of Sinterklaas which is like a progenitor to modern Christmas. Has its own insufferable songs. But variation numbs the insanity