Brian, you rotten son of a bitch. I just tried to buy a plane ticket home and they’re telling me my passport has been revoked. I can’t prove it yet, but I know you’re involved somehow.

If you think you’re going to get away with this, you are sorely mistaken. I know more of your dark, dirty little secrets than I’ll bet your comfortable with. Internet piracy is against the law, Brian, and that’s only the latest of your long list of offenses. I happen to know for a fact that you’ve torn the tag off of your mattress that says “do not remove”. Let’s see what the authorities have to say about that, shall we?

I’ve always know you looked upon me with an envious eye, but I never suspected you had the backbone to make a power play like this.

A passport isn’t going to prevent me from coming home and putting you in your place. I’m renting a car as we speak, and even if I have to speed through border patrol dukes-of-hazard style, I’m going to get back to my computers with ftp access, and then we’ll see who has the last laugh.

On your tombstone I’m going to have them etch “He gave the world sprite comics… and we hated him for it”.