I wish I could choose a definitive Sumo chair to recommend as the gaming chair to purchase, but every time I review one, they come out with a new variation that fills some new niche, be it size, function, cost or material.

Their newest addition to the lineup is the Sumo Chief Rocker. Whereas the Sumo Sac is a giant, gelatinous blob of chair, and the Sumo Omni Plus is a more moderate beanbag chair with adjustable straps that can give it a functional chair shape, the Sumo Chief Rocker actually has a metal frame inside of it, making it the closest thing to a beanbag/chair mutation yet.

However, I’m not sure Sumo has gone far enough. I think there’s another step that can be taken. I’ve given it some careful consideration, and I’ve settled on what I believe should be their next product, the next evolution of their beanbag line. Are you ready for this? Are you ready for the future?

Sumo Britches.

Got it? They’re a beanbag chair and pants. At the same time. So on the one hand, you’ve got your lower clothing portions covered, but you’ve also got a super comfortable seat any time you need it. I’m telling you, it would revolutionize the laziness industry, and cure chronic pantslessness.

And don’t even get me started on my ideas for a Sumo car…