We would like to correct an inaccuracy in your graphical depiction (located on “The Internet” at http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comics/20060203.jpg )
regarding certain potential staffing changes internal to Sony Online
Entertainment and one of its subsidiaries known in Norrath as “The Far
Seas Trading Company.”

Contrary to
what is depicted at the location above, we are pleased to affirm that
Capt. Drake Varlos (hereafter: “Mr. Varlos” ) remains under exclusive
contract to The Far Seas Trading company, located in Norrath, in the
world of EverQuest II.

In the end, after a tense 11th hour
negotiation between Mr. Varlos, his agents, The Far Seas Trading
Company and Sony Online Entertainment, all parties agreed to mutually
beneficial terms extending his stay indefinitely.

Under his new
contract, Mr. Varlos’s primary route has been relocated to the calmer
waters between the Queen’s Colony and the Outpost of the Overlord. This
shorter run is much more appropriate for a man of his success and
stature, and he is required to work fewer hours each week reducing his
potential exposure to ninjas significantly.

All parties amicably
reached this new arrangement. Both Mr. Varlos and The Far Seas Trading
Company look forward to a bright future for this ongoing, successful
relationship.

Warmest Regards,

Scott Hartsman
Senior Producer, EverQuest II

Curious about the events surrounding these negotiations, reporters from
Ctrl+Alt+Del’s head offices have contacted Captain Varlos for a
statement, which has been recorded for you below.

We of course will diligently follow any developments as they occur.