24

A Tale As Old As Time…

June 11, 2021 by Tim

Some things never change. That’s comforting, in a way…

Regardless, Chivalry 2 is fucking bananas, and I love it. Stormed a rampart while dodging ballistae, beheaded an unprepared archer who couldn’t draw his dagger in time. Picked up his head and threw it at his nearby friend friend. Let out a triumphant battle cry only to have the world go black. Another knight hadn’t seen caved my face in with a log.

10/10, would siege again.


Subscribe
Notify of
guest
31 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
evilleet
evilleet
4 months ago

War never changes, eh? πŸ˜‰
I someteimes feel, that the ingame KI on your side is modeled after random players you get on your team in WoW battlegrounds or any other big MMORPG.
Because they never doth fight on thy fucking objectith…

Casi
Casi
4 months ago
Reply to  evilleet

it doesn’t matter what genre the game is, if there’s an objective, and there’s a way to PVP away from the objective, the conflict will always move further away from the objective, and given an infinite amount of time and respawns, eventually the fighting will move to where they are maximally distant from all objectives in the arena.

Kaedys
Kaedys
4 months ago
Reply to  Casi

And/or until the fighting is at the literal rez point of the losing side.

foducool
foducool
4 months ago

uh what happened? let me see the logs

Me-me
Me-me
4 months ago
Reply to  foducool

I got it.

MasterofBalance
MasterofBalance
4 months ago

Somehow it’s always the most brainless that get a sword and shield…

Pulse
Pulse
4 months ago

ya im not a good objective fighter. im at my best screwing with the enemy team and pestering their support and reinforcements no matter the game.

Bwauder
Bwauder
4 months ago

Yep that sounds like a normal lunch break at school Tim, same time tomorrow?

Wesley Riot
Wesley Riot
4 months ago

in what year of our lord? doesnt say

also thine means yoursans thy means your so

evilleet
evilleet
4 months ago
Reply to  Wesley Riot

you must be fun at parties πŸ™‚

iago
iago
4 months ago
Reply to  evilleet

Given a straight choice between the dude who actually contributes something interesting and the dude who shoots the first dude down with an utterly unoriginal β€œyou must be fun at parties”, I’m pretty sure which one I’d invite to a party.

evilleet
evilleet
4 months ago
Reply to  iago

i can live with that. πŸ™‚
I wouldn’t enjoy hanging out with people who spell and grammar check jokes on the internet anyway. Well maybe i would, but not at first. πŸ™‚

Ashi
Ashi
4 months ago
Reply to  Tim

I refuseth to dignifyeth thy responseth with mine commenteth…..oh, waiteth

Matthew
Matthew
4 months ago
Reply to  Tim

Actually ‘Refuseth’ is a word, and has appeared in the King James Bible.

CTOWNS
CTOWNS
4 months ago
Reply to  Wesley Riot

He must have been tired, his followup caption had some errors, woo lol. Still funny.

SkulltheTroll
SkulltheTroll
4 months ago
Reply to  Wesley Riot

“refuse to fight on your objective” What’s the problem?

Me-me
Me-me
4 months ago
Reply to  Wesley Riot

“Thine” is to “mine” as “thy” is to “my”.

Vandril
Vandril
4 months ago
Reply to  Wesley Riot

Maybe their lord only had one year. πŸ˜›

V3rgil
V3rgil
4 months ago

This but in destiny 2 crucible/iron banner

leduk
leduk
4 months ago

I just cant play pvp games anymore. Feels like I dont have time to become good. Coop is my new way of multi.

Fils
Fils
4 months ago
Reply to  leduk

In this savage game of a brutal melee, you can actually have a lot of fun and get kills/score without being good. Ganging up on a lone fighter, lurking in the shadow and backstabbing foes, poking heads with spear over friends shoulders, and any other dirty tricks up your sleeve is totally acceptable and is not frowned upon.

But otherwise, I get that. this is the only pvp game I enjoy. I enjoy it giggling and shouting!

Ryan
Ryan
4 months ago

Interestingly (or not?), I was confused by the icon being a word rather than the first letter or a word. I didn’t know that was a thing, so I wanted to look it up. That lead me on a google search where I learned all about lombardic capitals, iconography, and even more fun, historiated initials!

Logan
Logan
4 months ago
Reply to  Ryan

Yeah, it was like “this is THE very first word of this tale, so it is even more important than every other word, so it must have the Capital-est of capital letters. A SUPER Capital!” (Or really just a stylistic choice of the times. xD )

Also, Kudos for doing research on a thing of your own volition! ^__^ The world is sorely lacking in this department lately. >__>

CTOWNS
CTOWNS
4 months ago
Reply to  Logan

Just an old-school style thing.

SkulltheTroll
SkulltheTroll
4 months ago
Reply to  Logan

The first word is twas and only the T is drawn. It came from the the times just after the invention of the printing press. A major source of income for Monks was hand coping books, so they were a bit miffed when they became obsolete. In the 1500’s you did NOT want to make the church miffed, so the books were printed with out the first letters and the monks went in and made hand drawn ones, and got paid.

Kaitensatsuma
Kaitensatsuma
4 months ago

The one setting here the Battle Royale set-up would work a little bit with two explicit teams, but No.

Marth Koopa
Marth Koopa
4 months ago

The first Chivalry was amazing, I put over 400 hours into it, but I just can’t get into 2. It’s all of the same thing… yet, worse in every way. Sluggish movement and attacks that make combat unfun, longer grind to unlock anything, and an even more insufferable player base that can’t go 2 seconds without throwing homophobic slurs at anything. It reminds me of the transition from Team Fortress Classic to Team Fortress 2 all over again.

Only thing it does better is being able to play as a lady.

Foxhood
Foxhood
4 months ago

Games may evolve and adapt, Generations of gamers may pass growing up with different ideas and play-styles.

But some things NEVER change…

Ashi
Ashi
4 months ago

And thus we see the first recorded instance in history of a Charlie Niner