Not at all. Real programmers speak in 1s and 0s. English never applies.
And besides, even if they did, the one redeeming quality of programmers is simple truth. The hardware only understands correctly formatted things and the hardware only does what it is created to do – honestly, no lying, no deception intentionally, no ulterior motive.
Wife mainly works from home (auditing) and I work remotely 2 days a week (accounting & reporting) as well. Our 4 year old, who was sometimes home with us due to daycare illness/contact tracing policies, play acted out that she was “going to work” one day. I asked what her job is and she replied, “Like mommy’s job. Type on the kumpooter.” ?♂️?
And if you are a fully chartered accountant, then you’d better know tax codes and what can and can’t be done and what’s in the ‘might work’ area. That’s more than just basic math.
I have a stable job, I know how to manage money. If you want to use any money you make to produce more money and to limit how much you give to the government, you’d better pay attention to what I tell you….
I’m the head of Maintenance and Toilet Scrubbing for our AirBnb and stay at home dad up till now although since my daugher entered high school I am totally snagging a real job again. 6 year holes are hard to explain in workforce USA but ffs.
6 years – Self employed entrepreneur focusing on front of house guest experiences for boutique rental properties.
LazerFX
2 years ago
I’m a programmer. I build circuits as a hobby, so I say that I take lightning, stuff it into melted sand, make it think and dance and show pretty lights for everyone.
I think too much of myself sometimes. But it’s pretty bloody amazing what we do with computers.
Yeah, like Foone once twitted: “Computers are sand we made think by etching arcane sigils into” and I love to think it’s what I do for a living.
Though actually I etch other higher level arcane sigils to verify that the base arcane sigils have been conjured and etched correctly 😉
But wait… they said the world one only ever need five computers in total (IBM CEO)….
… and now you may have that many cores and more in your phone.
If you have pretty lights, you must be a UI guy. Most of the stuff I’ve done has no buttons, no sliders, no fancy displays… and yet makes whatever system’s guts and intercommunications function so that there is data to show on said UIs. (Or UXs, nowadays)
ReaverRogue
2 years ago
I’m a sales engineer in cyber security. I basically design solutions based on what a company wants to achieve security wise, cost it all up, and then a salesperson goes to sell it. It’s a pretty niche and weird role, even in IT.
I’ve had decades of practice to explain this to children in my family, and the best most of them can muster is “you work with computers!”.
I’ll accept that. Grown adults have no idea what I do either.
Would have been even cooler if it had been the next day’s comic^^
Tracker
2 years ago
Kid on the left’s building doofenschmirz evil inc over there.
Have to love how kids just.. don’t have any filters, they say what they think and it’s refreshing.. even if they are living, breathing uncomfortable truth dinosaurs.
I used to walk past this building as it was being built … there are no pillars on the whole front of the building (like the kid’s design). the weight is all cantilevered onto the back half (hard to see through the glass. the “supports” on the outside are decorative): https://goo.gl/maps/vCknawCKjUhykwG9A
My boss used to say that if I had brought him the plans for the thing he’d have fired me on the spot
Example: Friend’s young son is taken to Christmas family get together with lots of inlaws and outlaws. He’s very young and no filter as they tend to be. They hold a pirate gift exchange. Someone has put a bass or pike (fish) on a plaque in as their contribution. Tacky, very generally not desired, and… really? So someone gets it and is trying to smile and the kid pipes up: “Dad, that thing’s a piece of cr*p!” Everyone in the room burst into laughter. Nobody would say that because all were trying to be sensitive and appreciative despite their actual… Read more »
Use to be an old show, and a few books,
Art Linkletter – Kids Say the Darndest Things
Last edited 2 years ago by TimeViewer
WereCatf
2 years ago
You just need to word it in a way the kid understands:
I draw cartoons, but they’re sad and cynical and I draw them for cranky, old people instead of cheery, fun ones for kids.
Eldest Gruff
2 years ago
I’ve tried telling my six-year-old what I do, but then I get all these weird questions like “But who is Tim?” and “Why do you live in his TV?” and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t get it.
Im currently back in South Africa on holiday after emmigrating to Ireland. Tell your daughter you do hard work, aren’t appreciated enough, but ultimately are doing the best you can with a very bad situation. And that random people on your computer say ‘vasbyt’
Cahira
2 years ago
Trying to tell people what I did was easy for 12 years: I played with the robots on the outside of the Space Station
Now…I’ve moved into a project management role for the Private Astronaut Missions to the Space Station…and it is more difficult to explain what that means since mostly it means that I play with schedules and bothering people to digitally sign things. So most people ask “…ok…but what does that mean?”
They probably prefer the robots: people are harder to troubleshoot when they dont behave as expected.
TimeViewer
2 years ago
You forgot to tell him the most important part,
Your dad makes people laugh
Bakhtosh
2 years ago
Engineer: Someone who does precision guesswork based on unreliable data provided by those of questionable knowledge. See also: Wizard, Magician
Jojo
2 years ago
As he get’s older, he’ll realise just how much of a dream job that is, compared to say… sitting in an office all day.
dbg
2 years ago
He’s not wrong, though. TFW you’re indeed a stranger that lives in Tim’s “TV”.
Mike
2 years ago
Are they really building such ugly Lego or is it just a stand-in kind of detail?
KillerDragon989
2 years ago
I work as an Electrician. I once told a guy, ‘I make it so the magic electrical fairies know where the plugs and lights are.’
I was on the phone with my coworker at the time and I heard him laughing through the ceiling from the attic.
Last edited 2 years ago by KillerDragon989
Kirk Hunt
2 years ago
We aren’t strangers. We’re friendly, appreciative folks you have not met yet.
Phaet
2 years ago
I was wondering whether author of this comic has a real job. I mean I assumes you can’t make a living making funny webcomics. Unless you can. I have no idea. I mean I noticed that artists are wealthy after they die. Like Vincent van Gogh. The best example I think. Personally I studied IT but couldn’t find job in IT so I work at law corporation despite not having a law degree. It sounds weird, I know. I have no artistic talent whatsoever. Fortunatelly I don’t have kids (or a spouse/partner) to whom I’d need to explain how my… Read more »
There’s a fair share of webcomic artists that make do with that as their job. I’m not sure how they pulled it off back in around 2010 when it was booming in popularity (can’t imagine ads paid that much), but these days it’s pretty easy to make bank on Patreon if you’ve got wide enough appeal, or a devoted enough niche
how the hell can you not get a job in IT in 2022? its a workers market. i could walk out my work place and have 3 diff agencies hire me on the spot.
as for webcomics? its a hell of a full time job for talented artists and CAD-Comic is a major name in gaming world. even pax has a culture of church of gamers.
Seth
2 years ago
My wife is a criminal defense lawyer, or, as our kid used to say to her daycare teachers “Mommy goes to jail a lot”
Pulse
2 years ago
the fourth wall be leaking in the screen
Kaogen
2 years ago
There’s a recurring thread that pops up in the r/Askreddit that’s along the lines of “explain what you do as vaguely as possible” and you’d be surprised how many relatively simple jobs become complete absurdity when you break them down to as literal as possible.
Scarsdale
2 years ago
I was a heavy factory mechanic and a volunteer fireman and my 6 year old had told his class I fix stuff and play with fire LOL
Kazuma Taichi
2 years ago
Tim, you need to let your children know that not all of us live here. Some just stop by to visit and live in other people’s TVs
foducool
2 years ago
I’m in your TV, Tim and I see all you do in the living room
Dom
2 years ago
I sit on my ass all day reading webcomics.
Digi
2 years ago
A child’s perspective is always awesome and hilarious….and mostly truthful.
Benjamin Frank
2 years ago
I dont live in your TV!! It is at most a weekend home
Gabrielli
2 years ago
A Sunday School teacher once asked my daughter, “What does your Daddy do?” She said, “He drinks coffee.”
Ashi
2 years ago
I was once at a CLE (Continuing Legal Education) program and was talking to someone who specialized in issues relating to assisted reproduction. He said “I literally get women pregnant.”
Dabo
2 years ago
The funny thing is I started reading your webcomic to pass the time when I had a boring temp job, like 15 years ago…So sometimes I guess I’m getting paid to read your comics! (I mean, not that I do that anymore IT person who might be monitoring my usage during work hours….)
It’s cool, dude: while youre on the internet youre not breaking the rest of the system. (Says the IT person) … Your manager, however, may have issues. 😛
Solar Zero
2 years ago
There are many jobs that I feel kids will find to be lame. As someone that works as an IT tech, I plan to make some elaborate story akin to the Mega Man Battle Network games.
KBABZ
2 years ago
I write video game walkthroughs so people know how to find stuff, how to beat bosses, and have the ending of the game explained to them like their five!
JozMkII
2 years ago
I’ve been living inside Tim’s TV all this time?
*mind blown*
Merendel
2 years ago
These days I’m an electric motor mechanic.
Thats a hell of alot easier to explain than my previous job. I used to manufacture audio transformers. I hated telling people what I did. What I hate even more is that “Oh like the robots?” was the response I got more than once.
At least now the worst I get is “Oh can you repair a tesla?” Thats at least adjacent enough to be a somewhat plausible assumption even if I’m not that kind of mechanic.
Fartsy
2 years ago
I’m a medical device distributor and I don’t know what to tell to my future kids (if I’ll have any) what I do when I have to actively assist surgeons for stuff related to proctology…
like, “my dad inserts stuff into people’s poophole”… yeah…
Last edited 2 years ago by Fartsy
Verdiekus
2 years ago
I have it easy, I just tell people I fix elevators.
James
2 years ago
Hey stranger, thanks for the colored pictures
VibrantEvolution
2 years ago
I work in a supermarket and my kids always say “mommy’s store”. I can tell you it’s not officially my store until shit hits then fan. Then apparently it is my store (but only till I get things worked out).
Orose Khan
2 years ago
And we love you for it!
Andrew
2 years ago
Whaaaat? I’ve been stalking your comic for years, what do you mean we’re not friends
william scott
2 years ago
this is why i love being a techy… i work in the batcave and make sure all batmans cool toys work for him. no i can’t take you to work today; its a secret….
24
I’m an accountant. I also don’t know what to tell my children what I do when that time comes.
i work in puplic service at an university and make tenders *howtoexplaingermantenderlaw*
Accountant definition:
An accountant is a person who solves a problem that no one knows about in a way that no one understands. 🙂
No, That’s programming.
Programming is writing bad English with an overuse of punctuation, and atrocious grammar.
Not at all. Real programmers speak in 1s and 0s. English never applies.
And besides, even if they did, the one redeeming quality of programmers is simple truth. The hardware only understands correctly formatted things and the hardware only does what it is created to do – honestly, no lying, no deception intentionally, no ulterior motive.
… *hides the SQL injection from view. Whistles…*
https://xkcd.com/378/
Funny! its the same job description as software developer 😀
When you think about it, that match any sufficiently technical work…
Wife mainly works from home (auditing) and I work remotely 2 days a week (accounting & reporting) as well. Our 4 year old, who was sometimes home with us due to daycare illness/contact tracing policies, play acted out that she was “going to work” one day. I asked what her job is and she replied, “Like mommy’s job. Type on the kumpooter.” ?♂️?
My dad tells strangers how they’re using their money wrong
Financial advisor / investment banker? Or is he in marketing? 😀
Accountants are people who add and subtract numbers. In an emergency they also multiply and divide. – My Accounting 101 lecturer
And if you are a fully chartered accountant, then you’d better know tax codes and what can and can’t be done and what’s in the ‘might work’ area. That’s more than just basic math.
I’d suggest “daddy does magic with numbers and money,” but the authorities may get suspicious ?
I have a stable job, I know how to manage money. If you want to use any money you make to produce more money and to limit how much you give to the government, you’d better pay attention to what I tell you….
I’m Good at this sort of thing.
Accountant: the person who gets to tell people exactly Where they can put their assets.
I sell databases to Enterprise Customers.
Or according to my 5 year old:
“My dad does this *keyboard smashing* and ‘bla, bla, bla’ on the phone”
I’m software engineer and I have trouble explaining it to my parents. I’m dreading the time my kids start asking…
A software developer is someone who images a useful way to help people then uses computers to create the best version of that they can.*
oh you’re missing golden opportunities; the explanation I like to give most is “I make the computer my b” — or the k version depending
I turn caffeine into code?
I’m the head of Maintenance and Toilet Scrubbing for our AirBnb and stay at home dad up till now although since my daugher entered high school I am totally snagging a real job again. 6 year holes are hard to explain in workforce USA but ffs.
How about Senior Hygiene Technician?
These days a lot of businesses are like “I don’t care if you were in San Quentin, you’re hired!”
6 years – Self employed entrepreneur focusing on front of house guest experiences for boutique rental properties.
I’m a programmer. I build circuits as a hobby, so I say that I take lightning, stuff it into melted sand, make it think and dance and show pretty lights for everyone.
I think too much of myself sometimes. But it’s pretty bloody amazing what we do with computers.
Yeah, like Foone once twitted: “Computers are sand we made think by etching arcane sigils into” and I love to think it’s what I do for a living.
Though actually I etch other higher level arcane sigils to verify that the base arcane sigils have been conjured and etched correctly 😉
I’ve seen a corollary to Clarke’s Law:
Any sufficiently arcane magic is indistinguishable from technology
Order of the Stick!
So basically a Dwarf, etching arcane symbols into Rock or rock like material.
But wait… they said the world one only ever need five computers in total (IBM CEO)….
… and now you may have that many cores and more in your phone.
If you have pretty lights, you must be a UI guy. Most of the stuff I’ve done has no buttons, no sliders, no fancy displays… and yet makes whatever system’s guts and intercommunications function so that there is data to show on said UIs. (Or UXs, nowadays)
I’m a sales engineer in cyber security. I basically design solutions based on what a company wants to achieve security wise, cost it all up, and then a salesperson goes to sell it. It’s a pretty niche and weird role, even in IT.
I’ve had decades of practice to explain this to children in my family, and the best most of them can muster is “you work with computers!”.
I’ll accept that. Grown adults have no idea what I do either.
How about “Cyber defense coordinator”? 😀
I don’t coordinate, I design and advise 😉 I guess the closest non-industry term would be Consultant?
“A consultant is someone who borrows your watch to tell you the time, then charges you for the privilege.”
I thought a consultant was someone more than 100 miles from home with a briefcase that gets paid more than you do?
Kids say the darndest things
I like the “breaking of the wall” / inception moment of having the comic be its own background! ?
Which wall would that be breaking? The second? Yeah the wall-breaking metaphor is a bit overextended here. ?
The one on the right is Wednesday’s comic (9/21) if you look closely enough.
Holy shit, I didn’t notice that.
Would have been even cooler if it had been the next day’s comic^^
Kid on the left’s building doofenschmirz evil inc over there.
Have to love how kids just.. don’t have any filters, they say what they think and it’s refreshing.. even if they are living, breathing uncomfortable truth dinosaurs.
I used to walk past this building as it was being built … there are no pillars on the whole front of the building (like the kid’s design). the weight is all cantilevered onto the back half (hard to see through the glass. the “supports” on the outside are decorative):
https://goo.gl/maps/vCknawCKjUhykwG9A
My boss used to say that if I had brought him the plans for the thing he’d have fired me on the spot
Interesting. I’m more curious about what’s happening in the pointy floating triangle part of the building behind it, from the link you posted.
Example: Friend’s young son is taken to Christmas family get together with lots of inlaws and outlaws. He’s very young and no filter as they tend to be. They hold a pirate gift exchange. Someone has put a bass or pike (fish) on a plaque in as their contribution. Tacky, very generally not desired, and… really? So someone gets it and is trying to smile and the kid pipes up: “Dad, that thing’s a piece of cr*p!” Everyone in the room burst into laughter. Nobody would say that because all were trying to be sensitive and appreciative despite their actual… Read more »
Use to be an old show, and a few books,
Art Linkletter – Kids Say the Darndest Things
You just need to word it in a way the kid understands:
I’ve tried telling my six-year-old what I do, but then I get all these weird questions like “But who is Tim?” and “Why do you live in his TV?” and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t get it.
Thank you as always for this high tier wit XD
Reaction of the fireman, the dad of your kid’s friend: “Wow, really, your friends father is famous, I love his work!”
Everyone is a friend until they do something to you that makes them an enemy.
I get to tell my daughter that I help keep power on….. in South Africa (country with massive power cuts daily due to failing power stations)
Im currently back in South Africa on holiday after emmigrating to Ireland. Tell your daughter you do hard work, aren’t appreciated enough, but ultimately are doing the best you can with a very bad situation. And that random people on your computer say ‘vasbyt’
Trying to tell people what I did was easy for 12 years: I played with the robots on the outside of the Space Station
Now…I’ve moved into a project management role for the Private Astronaut Missions to the Space Station…and it is more difficult to explain what that means since mostly it means that I play with schedules and bothering people to digitally sign things. So most people ask “…ok…but what does that mean?”
“I used to control space robots. Now, I control people.”
Very metal.
They probably prefer the robots: people are harder to troubleshoot when they dont behave as expected.
You forgot to tell him the most important part,
Your dad makes people laugh
Engineer: Someone who does precision guesswork based on unreliable data provided by those of questionable knowledge. See also: Wizard, Magician
As he get’s older, he’ll realise just how much of a dream job that is, compared to say… sitting in an office all day.
He’s not wrong, though. TFW you’re indeed a stranger that lives in Tim’s “TV”.
Are they really building such ugly Lego or is it just a stand-in kind of detail?
I work as an Electrician. I once told a guy, ‘I make it so the magic electrical fairies know where the plugs and lights are.’
I was on the phone with my coworker at the time and I heard him laughing through the ceiling from the attic.
We aren’t strangers. We’re friendly, appreciative folks you have not met yet.
I was wondering whether author of this comic has a real job. I mean I assumes you can’t make a living making funny webcomics. Unless you can. I have no idea. I mean I noticed that artists are wealthy after they die. Like Vincent van Gogh. The best example I think. Personally I studied IT but couldn’t find job in IT so I work at law corporation despite not having a law degree. It sounds weird, I know. I have no artistic talent whatsoever. Fortunatelly I don’t have kids (or a spouse/partner) to whom I’d need to explain how my… Read more »
There’s a fair share of webcomic artists that make do with that as their job. I’m not sure how they pulled it off back in around 2010 when it was booming in popularity (can’t imagine ads paid that much), but these days it’s pretty easy to make bank on Patreon if you’ve got wide enough appeal, or a devoted enough niche
FWIW, I have been doing this comic for 20 years. The last 19 years of those it has been my full time job.
how the hell can you not get a job in IT in 2022? its a workers market. i could walk out my work place and have 3 diff agencies hire me on the spot.
as for webcomics? its a hell of a full time job for talented artists and CAD-Comic is a major name in gaming world. even pax has a culture of church of gamers.
My wife is a criminal defense lawyer, or, as our kid used to say to her daycare teachers “Mommy goes to jail a lot”
the fourth wall be leaking in the screen
There’s a recurring thread that pops up in the r/Askreddit that’s along the lines of “explain what you do as vaguely as possible” and you’d be surprised how many relatively simple jobs become complete absurdity when you break them down to as literal as possible.
I was a heavy factory mechanic and a volunteer fireman and my 6 year old had told his class I fix stuff and play with fire LOL
Tim, you need to let your children know that not all of us live here. Some just stop by to visit and live in other people’s TVs
I’m in your TV, Tim and I see all you do in the living room
I sit on my ass all day reading webcomics.
A child’s perspective is always awesome and hilarious….and mostly truthful.
I dont live in your TV!! It is at most a weekend home
A Sunday School teacher once asked my daughter, “What does your Daddy do?” She said, “He drinks coffee.”
I was once at a CLE (Continuing Legal Education) program and was talking to someone who specialized in issues relating to assisted reproduction. He said “I literally get women pregnant.”
The funny thing is I started reading your webcomic to pass the time when I had a boring temp job, like 15 years ago…So sometimes I guess I’m getting paid to read your comics! (I mean, not that I do that anymore IT person who might be monitoring my usage during work hours….)
It’s cool, dude: while youre on the internet youre not breaking the rest of the system. (Says the IT person) … Your manager, however, may have issues. 😛
There are many jobs that I feel kids will find to be lame. As someone that works as an IT tech, I plan to make some elaborate story akin to the Mega Man Battle Network games.
I write video game walkthroughs so people know how to find stuff, how to beat bosses, and have the ending of the game explained to them like their five!
I’ve been living inside Tim’s TV all this time?
*mind blown*
These days I’m an electric motor mechanic.
Thats a hell of alot easier to explain than my previous job. I used to manufacture audio transformers. I hated telling people what I did. What I hate even more is that “Oh like the robots?” was the response I got more than once.
At least now the worst I get is “Oh can you repair a tesla?” Thats at least adjacent enough to be a somewhat plausible assumption even if I’m not that kind of mechanic.
I’m a medical device distributor and I don’t know what to tell to my future kids (if I’ll have any) what I do when I have to actively assist surgeons for stuff related to proctology…
like, “my dad inserts stuff into people’s poophole”… yeah…
I have it easy, I just tell people I fix elevators.
Hey stranger, thanks for the colored pictures
I work in a supermarket and my kids always say “mommy’s store”. I can tell you it’s not officially my store until shit hits then fan. Then apparently it is my store (but only till I get things worked out).
And we love you for it!
Whaaaat? I’ve been stalking your comic for years, what do you mean we’re not friends
this is why i love being a techy… i work in the batcave and make sure all batmans cool toys work for him. no i can’t take you to work today; its a secret….