24

Vocation

September 23, 2022 by Tim

I mean he’s not wrong.


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stavrs
stavrs
9 days ago

I’m an accountant. I also don’t know what to tell my children what I do when that time comes.

Last edited 9 days ago by stavrs
Ashe Frost
Ashe Frost
9 days ago
Reply to  stavrs

i work in puplic service at an university and make tenders *howtoexplaingermantenderlaw*

xvasek
xvasek
9 days ago
Reply to  stavrs

Accountant definition:

An accountant is a person who solves a problem that no one knows about in a way that no one understands. ๐Ÿ™‚

Bor
Bor
9 days ago
Reply to  xvasek

No, That’s programming.

smeghead
smeghead
8 days ago
Reply to  Bor

Programming is writing bad English with an overuse of punctuation, and atrocious grammar.

TomB
TomB
7 days ago
Reply to  smeghead

Not at all. Real programmers speak in 1s and 0s. English never applies.

And besides, even if they did, the one redeeming quality of programmers is simple truth. The hardware only understands correctly formatted things and the hardware only does what it is created to do – honestly, no lying, no deception intentionally, no ulterior motive.

wkz
wkz
6 days ago
Reply to  TomB

… *hides the SQL injection from view. Whistles…*

Wyz
Wyz
9 days ago
Reply to  xvasek

Funny! its the same job description as software developer ๐Ÿ˜€

Teocali
Teocali
9 days ago
Reply to  Wyz

When you think about it, that match any sufficiently technical work…

Steve
Steve
9 days ago
Reply to  stavrs

Wife mainly works from home (auditing) and I work remotely 2 days a week (accounting & reporting) as well. Our 4 year old, who was sometimes home with us due to daycare illness/contact tracing policies, play acted out that she was “going to work” one day. I asked what her job is and she replied, “Like mommy’s job. Type on the kumpooter.” ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ˜„

Siv
Siv
9 days ago
Reply to  stavrs

My dad tells strangers how they’re using their money wrong

Yenickhe
Yenickhe
6 days ago
Reply to  Siv

Financial advisor / investment banker? Or is he in marketing? ๐Ÿ˜€

smeghead
smeghead
8 days ago
Reply to  stavrs

Accountants are people who add and subtract numbers. In an emergency they also multiply and divide. – My Accounting 101 lecturer

TomB
TomB
7 days ago
Reply to  smeghead

And if you are a fully chartered accountant, then you’d better know tax codes and what can and can’t be done and what’s in the ‘might work’ area. That’s more than just basic math.

Rolando
Rolando
8 days ago
Reply to  stavrs

I’d suggest “daddy does magic with numbers and money,” but the authorities may get suspicious ๐Ÿ˜

TomB
TomB
7 days ago
Reply to  stavrs

I have a stable job, I know how to manage money. If you want to use any money you make to produce more money and to limit how much you give to the government, you’d better pay attention to what I tell you….

Crestlinger
Crestlinger
7 days ago
Reply to  stavrs

I’m Good at this sort of thing.
Accountant: the person who gets to tell people exactly Where they can put their assets.

Simon Potgieter
Simon Potgieter
9 days ago

I sell databases to Enterprise Customers.

Or according to my 5 year old:
“My dad does this *keyboard smashing* and ‘bla, bla, bla’ on the phone”

Marcell
Marcell
9 days ago

I’m software engineer and I have trouble explaining it to my parents. I’m dreading the time my kids start asking…

TomB
TomB
7 days ago
Reply to  Marcell

A software developer is someone who images a useful way to help people then uses computers to create the best version of that they can.*

  • assuming the budget and technology make those things possible and it will result in profits for the paymasters
Ivan
Ivan
6 days ago
Reply to  Marcell

oh you’re missing golden opportunities; the explanation I like to give most is “I make the computer my b” — or the k version depending

tjones
tjones
6 days ago
Reply to  Marcell

I turn caffeine into code?

-The John-
-The John-
9 days ago

I’m the head of Maintenance and Toilet Scrubbing for our AirBnb and stay at home dad up till now although since my daugher entered high school I am totally snagging a real job again. 6 year holes are hard to explain in workforce USA but ffs.

evilleet
evilleet
9 days ago
Reply to  -The John-

How about Senior Hygiene Technician?

Robert
Robert
9 days ago
Reply to  -The John-

These days a lot of businesses are like “I don’t care if you were in San Quentin, you’re hired!”

Jacob
Jacob
9 days ago
Reply to  -The John-

6 years – Self employed entrepreneur focusing on front of house guest experiences for boutique rental properties.

LazerFX
LazerFX
9 days ago

I’m a programmer. I build circuits as a hobby, so I say that I take lightning, stuff it into melted sand, make it think and dance and show pretty lights for everyone.

I think too much of myself sometimes. But it’s pretty bloody amazing what we do with computers.

LeHack
LeHack
9 days ago
Reply to  LazerFX

Yeah, like Foone once twitted: “Computers are sand we made think by etching arcane sigils into” and I love to think it’s what I do for a living.
Though actually I etch other higher level arcane sigils to verify that the base arcane sigils have been conjured and etched correctly ๐Ÿ˜‰

Last edited 9 days ago by LeHack
Rob
Rob
9 days ago
Reply to  LeHack

I’ve seen a corollary to Clarke’s Law:

Any sufficiently arcane magic is indistinguishable from technology

Robert L.
Robert L.
9 days ago
Reply to  Rob

Order of the Stick!

TomB
TomB
7 days ago
Reply to  LazerFX

But wait… they said the world one only ever need five computers in total (IBM CEO)….

… and now you may have that many cores and more in your phone.

If you have pretty lights, you must be a UI guy. Most of the stuff I’ve done has no buttons, no sliders, no fancy displays… and yet makes whatever system’s guts and intercommunications function so that there is data to show on said UIs. (Or UXs, nowadays)

ReaverRogue
ReaverRogue
9 days ago

I’m a sales engineer in cyber security. I basically design solutions based on what a company wants to achieve security wise, cost it all up, and then a salesperson goes to sell it. It’s a pretty niche and weird role, even in IT.

I’ve had decades of practice to explain this to children in my family, and the best most of them can muster is “you work with computers!”.

I’ll accept that. Grown adults have no idea what I do either.

evilleet
evilleet
9 days ago
Reply to  ReaverRogue

How about “Cyber defense coordinator”? ๐Ÿ˜€

ReaverRogue
ReaverRogue
9 days ago
Reply to  evilleet

I don’t coordinate, I design and advise ๐Ÿ˜‰ I guess the closest non-industry term would be Consultant?

Ashi
Ashi
9 days ago
Reply to  ReaverRogue

“A consultant is someone who borrows your watch to tell you the time, then charges you for the privilege.”

Last edited 9 days ago by Ashi
TomB
TomB
7 days ago
Reply to  Ashi

I thought a consultant was someone more than 100 miles from home with a briefcase that gets paid more than you do?

MasterofBalance
MasterofBalance
9 days ago

Kids say the darndest things

Hugh
Hugh
9 days ago

I like the “breaking of the wall” / inception moment of having the comic be its own background! ๐Ÿ˜Š

Which wall would that be breaking? The second? Yeah the wall-breaking metaphor is a bit overextended here. ๐Ÿ™ˆ

Steve
Steve
9 days ago
Reply to  Hugh

The one on the right is Wednesday’s comic (9/21) if you look closely enough.

Reso
Reso
9 days ago
Reply to  Hugh

Holy shit, I didn’t notice that.

Jack0r
Jack0r
5 days ago
Reply to  Hugh

Would have been even cooler if it had been the next day’s comic^^

Tracker
Tracker
9 days ago

Kid on the left’s building doofenschmirz evil inc over there.

Have to love how kids just.. don’t have any filters, they say what they think and it’s refreshing.. even if they are living, breathing uncomfortable truth dinosaurs.

jad
jad
9 days ago
Reply to  Tracker

I used to walk past this building as it was being built … there are no pillars on the whole front of the building (like the kid’s design). the weight is all cantilevered onto the back half (hard to see through the glass. the “supports” on the outside are decorative):
https://goo.gl/maps/vCknawCKjUhykwG9A

My boss used to say that if I had brought him the plans for the thing he’d have fired me on the spot

chargersfan
chargersfan
9 days ago
Reply to  jad

Interesting. I’m more curious about what’s happening in the pointy floating triangle part of the building behind it, from the link you posted.

TomB
TomB
7 days ago
Reply to  jad

Example: Friend’s young son is taken to Christmas family get together with lots of inlaws and outlaws. He’s very young and no filter as they tend to be. They hold a pirate gift exchange. Someone has put a bass or pike (fish) on a plaque in as their contribution. Tacky, very generally not desired, and… really? So someone gets it and is trying to smile and the kid pipes up: “Dad, that thing’s a piece of cr*p!” Everyone in the room burst into laughter. Nobody would say that because all were trying to be sensitive and appreciative despite their actual… Read more »

TimeViewer
TimeViewer
9 days ago
Reply to  Tracker

Use to be an old show, and a few books,
Art Linkletter – Kids Say the Darndest Things

Last edited 9 days ago by TimeViewer
WereCatf
WereCatf
9 days ago

You just need to word it in a way the kid understands:

I draw cartoons, but they’re sad and cynical and I draw them for cranky, old people instead of cheery, fun ones for kids.

Eldest Gruff
Eldest Gruff
9 days ago

Iโ€™ve tried telling my six-year-old what I do, but then I get all these weird questions like โ€œBut who is Tim?โ€ and โ€œWhy do you live in his TV?โ€ and Iโ€™m pretty sure she doesnโ€™t get it.

Timmeh
Timmeh
8 days ago
Reply to  Eldest Gruff

Thank you as always for this high tier wit XD

WWX
WWX
9 days ago

Reaction of the fireman, the dad of your kid’s friend: “Wow, really, your friends father is famous, I love his work!”

Mizonel
Mizonel
9 days ago

Everyone is a friend until they do something to you that makes them an enemy.

Anon
Anon
9 days ago

I get to tell my daughter that I help keep power on….. in South Africa (country with massive power cuts daily due to failing power stations)

Gnarph
Gnarph
4 days ago
Reply to  Anon

Im currently back in South Africa on holiday after emmigrating to Ireland. Tell your daughter you do hard work, aren’t appreciated enough, but ultimately are doing the best you can with a very bad situation. And that random people on your computer say ‘vasbyt’

Cahira
Cahira
9 days ago

Trying to tell people what I did was easy for 12 years: I played with the robots on the outside of the Space Station

Now…I’ve moved into a project management role for the Private Astronaut Missions to the Space Station…and it is more difficult to explain what that means since mostly it means that I play with schedules and bothering people to digitally sign things. So most people ask “…ok…but what does that mean?”

Eldest Gruff
Eldest Gruff
9 days ago
Reply to  Cahira

“I used to control space robots. Now, I control people.

Very metal.

Gnarph
Gnarph
4 days ago
Reply to  Eldest Gruff

They probably prefer the robots: people are harder to troubleshoot when they dont behave as expected.

TimeViewer
TimeViewer
9 days ago

You forgot to tell him the most important part,

Your dad makes people laugh

Bakhtosh
Bakhtosh
9 days ago

Engineer: Someone who does precision guesswork based on unreliable data provided by those of questionable knowledge. See also: Wizard, Magician

Jojo
Jojo
9 days ago

As he get’s older, he’ll realise just how much of a dream job that is, compared to say… sitting in an office all day.

dbg
dbg
9 days ago

He’s not wrong, though. TFW you’re indeed a stranger that lives in Tim’s “TV”.

Mike
Mike
9 days ago

Are they really building such ugly Lego or is it just a stand-in kind of detail?

KillerDragon989
KillerDragon989
9 days ago

I work as an Electrician. I once told a guy, โ€˜I make it so the magic electrical fairies know where the plugs and lights are.โ€™
I was on the phone with my coworker at the time and I heard him laughing through the ceiling from the attic.

Last edited 9 days ago by KillerDragon989
Kirk Hunt
Kirk Hunt
9 days ago

We aren’t strangers. We’re friendly, appreciative folks you have not met yet.

Phaet
Phaet
9 days ago

I was wondering whether author of this comic has a real job. I mean I assumes you can’t make a living making funny webcomics. Unless you can. I have no idea. I mean I noticed that artists are wealthy after they die. Like Vincent van Gogh. The best example I think. Personally I studied IT but couldn’t find job in IT so I work at law corporation despite not having a law degree. It sounds weird, I know. I have no artistic talent whatsoever. Fortunatelly I don’t have kids (or a spouse/partner) to whom I’d need to explain how my… Read more »

Kazuma Taichi
Kazuma Taichi
9 days ago
Reply to  Phaet

There’s a fair share of webcomic artists that make do with that as their job. I’m not sure how they pulled it off back in around 2010 when it was booming in popularity (can’t imagine ads paid that much), but these days it’s pretty easy to make bank on Patreon if you’ve got wide enough appeal, or a devoted enough niche

william scott
william scott
7 days ago
Reply to  Phaet

how the hell can you not get a job in IT in 2022? its a workers market. i could walk out my work place and have 3 diff agencies hire me on the spot.

as for webcomics? its a hell of a full time job for talented artists and CAD-Comic is a major name in gaming world. even pax has a culture of church of gamers.

Seth
Seth
9 days ago

My wife is a criminal defense lawyer, or, as our kid used to say to her daycare teachers “Mommy goes to jail a lot”

Pulse
Pulse
9 days ago

the fourth wall be leaking in the screen

Kaogen
Kaogen
9 days ago

There’s a recurring thread that pops up in the r/Askreddit that’s along the lines of “explain what you do as vaguely as possible” and you’d be surprised how many relatively simple jobs become complete absurdity when you break them down to as literal as possible.

Scarsdale
Scarsdale
9 days ago

I was a heavy factory mechanic and a volunteer fireman and my 6 year old had told his class I fix stuff and play with fire LOL

Kazuma Taichi
Kazuma Taichi
9 days ago

Tim, you need to let your children know that not all of us live here. Some just stop by to visit and live in other people’s TVs

foducool
foducool
9 days ago

I’m in your TV, Tim and I see all you do in the living room

Dom
Dom
9 days ago

I sit on my ass all day reading webcomics.

Digi
Digi
9 days ago

A childโ€™s perspective is always awesome and hilariousโ€ฆ.and mostly truthful.

Benjamin Frank
Benjamin Frank
9 days ago

I dont live in your TV!! It is at most a weekend home

Gabrielli
Gabrielli
9 days ago

A Sunday School teacher once asked my daughter, “What does your Daddy do?” She said, “He drinks coffee.”

Ashi
Ashi
9 days ago

I was once at a CLE (Continuing Legal Education) program and was talking to someone who specialized in issues relating to assisted reproduction. He said “I literally get women pregnant.”

Dabo
Dabo
9 days ago

The funny thing is I started reading your webcomic to pass the time when I had a boring temp job, like 15 years ago…So sometimes I guess I’m getting paid to read your comics! (I mean, not that I do that anymore IT person who might be monitoring my usage during work hours….)

Gnarph
Gnarph
4 days ago
Reply to  Dabo

It’s cool, dude: while youre on the internet youre not breaking the rest of the system. (Says the IT person) … Your manager, however, may have issues. ๐Ÿ˜›

Solar Zero
Solar Zero
8 days ago

There are many jobs that I feel kids will find to be lame. As someone that works as an IT tech, I plan to make some elaborate story akin to the Mega Man Battle Network games.

KBABZ
KBABZ
8 days ago

I write video game walkthroughs so people know how to find stuff, how to beat bosses, and have the ending of the game explained to them like their five!

JozMkII
JozMkII
8 days ago

I’ve been living inside Tim’s TV all this time?

*mind blown*

Merendel
Merendel
8 days ago

These days I’m an electric motor mechanic.
Thats a hell of alot easier to explain than my previous job. I used to manufacture audio transformers. I hated telling people what I did. What I hate even more is that “Oh like the robots?” was the response I got more than once.
At least now the worst I get is “Oh can you repair a tesla?” Thats at least adjacent enough to be a somewhat plausible assumption even if I’m not that kind of mechanic.

Fartsy
Fartsy
8 days ago

I’m a medical device distributor and I don’t know what to tell to my future kids (if I’ll have any) what I do when I have to actively assist surgeons for stuff related to proctology…

like, “my dad inserts stuff into people’s poophole”… yeah…

Last edited 8 days ago by Fartsy
Verdiekus
Verdiekus
8 days ago

I have it easy, I just tell people I fix elevators.

James
James
8 days ago

Hey stranger, thanks for the colored pictures

VibrantEvolution
VibrantEvolution
8 days ago

I work in a supermarket and my kids always say “mommy’s store”. I can tell you it’s not officially my store until shit hits then fan. Then apparently it is my store (but only till I get things worked out).

Orose Khan
Orose Khan
7 days ago

And we love you for it!

Andrew
Andrew
7 days ago

Whaaaat? I’ve been stalking your comic for years, what do you mean we’re not friends

william scott
william scott
7 days ago

this is why i love being a techy… i work in the batcave and make sure all batmans cool toys work for him. no i can’t take you to work today; its a secret….