I’d been hearing about this Net Neutrality thing for the past week, but at first I dismissed it as another one of those unfounded scare rumors that sweeps through those ridiculous email forwards and gets everyone all worked up. I mean, who the fuck is going to try and regulate the internet?
Well, apparently some of these conservative, pompous politicians are giving it a shot, by attempting to give a few major corporations (who no doubt have provided generous campaign contributions to the Representatives involved) exclusive rights to deliver services via the internet.
Basically this means that the large companies like Verizon and Comcocksuckingcast would have, at their discretion, the right to choose what web content loads quickest for you. And guess how that decision is made? That’s what, whatever web content makes them the most money. And if a website doesn’t pay their exorbitant fees? It could load up slower than dial-up. Or not at all.
Dreamt of starting an online business? Opening a t-shirt shop online, or putting our your artwork for others to see? Under this legislation you can kiss that shit goodbye, unless you’re willing to fork over cash to the big communications companies so they’ll allow your stuff to be seen.
As a self-employed cartoonist, a small business owner who makes his living thanks to the internet, you can imagine this concept hits close to home. The internet is the greatest tool we’ve ever had for getting around these ultra-rich, conservative fatasses who control everything.
Before the internet, if you wanted your work to get out there, you would have to submit it over, and over, and over again, to countless editors who were going to decide whether your idea was good enough to reach the masses. Who the fuck were they to decide? Screw ’em.
The internet cuts these large corporations out and they know it. And it drives them nuts. You know what? Good. They don’t know what they’re doing anyway. Remember when MTV used to be Music Television? Now they showcase music for forty minutes out of the whole day, and they don’t even play the whole fucking videos anymore. It’s some jackass droning on about whatever superficial horseshit they’re trying to brainwash young America into buying. But thank god they don’t play the whole videos, because the only music they play are whatever manufactured crap the big record labels are paying them to play. Do you see where I’m going with this?
Badger Badger Badger may have annoyed the shit out of you. But that came directly from the creators, to the masses. There was no middle-man in a cheap suit saying “umm, well, I think maybe the badgers should be wearing FUBAR, and the snake, could we replace the snake with an asian minority? We’re trying to appeal to our sponsors. And I’m worried that the mushroom infers illegal activities, so let’s use these new Nike Air Jordans instead. And…” Fuck that. There’s a lot of shit on the internet, but I’d take sifting through the crap to find the good stuff, over having the crap be the only thing offered to me, any day of the week.