Putting the hole in pineapple rings

March 14, 2011 by Tim

I made the decision to play through Dragon Age 2 as a good guy. I would be compassionate, helpful, I would be righteous and just, and I would be friends with everyone. It actually ended up working out alongside playing on Nightmare mode, because I really couldn’t afford to turn down any offer of XP. I need every level and attribute point I can get to get past some of these fights.

I also felt that “good” was the road less traveled in Bioware games.

So I’ve been going to great lengths to consider my companions’ personalities and reactions when it comes to my decisions, as well as my own feelings. I wanted Friendship points, not Rivarly points. So I was rather amused when I accepted Anders into my party.

Warning, minor spoilers ahead.

Everyone is familiar with the opportunity to have sexual relationships with your companions in recent Bioware games. Heterosexual, homosexual, whatever, it’s all good, and it’s all fair game. But generally you have to initiate these relationships by finding opportunities to flirt with your companions.

So imagine my surprise when, after helping Anders with a quest, he suddenly starts telling me how he and Karl would “comfort” eachother during their hard times in the Chantry, and how Karl was his first, and oh by the way, he thinks my Hawke is hot stuff.

Imagine my even greater surprise when, after this, my only response options are two choices to flirt back with him (heart icons), or an option to just shoot him down flat. And let me tell you, if you don’t return Anders’ advances, apparently he’s not the kind of guy that handles rejection well. You either flirt back with him, or you’re looking at an immediate 10-15 Rivalry points right off the bat.

In the end, I did the only thing I could. I whored myself out for Friendship points. I’m a Friendship point slut. I assume that at this point, I’ve degraded my Hawke’s self-esteem so much that he’d fuck a god damned pineapple if he thought he’d get Friendship points out of it.

So, if you haven’t reached this part in the game yet, prepare yourself. Anders gets what Anders wants.

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