24

First Day

September 5, 2018 by Tim


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foducool
foducool
3 years ago

be smart, adopt a 18 old boy

Urazz
Urazz
3 years ago
Reply to  foducool

Nah, smarter idea would be to not have kids at all. Teenagers can be worse than younger kids since they can have a harder time waking up (growth spurts and/or staying up late). They also have more attitude than they did when they were younger as well.

foducool
foducool
3 years ago
Reply to  Urazz

not having kids is sometimes not an option when you have a wife

Natasha
3 years ago
Reply to  foducool

Not having kids is something I brought up before my fiance did. He’s 31. I’m 23. He got snipped three weeks ago. Life is glorious. Sometimes women are the ones who pressure for kids, but I can tell you that they’re socialized into wanting them in most cultures around the world. Guys are too – the whole “continuing on the family name”, “leaving behind a legacy” thing. Or my favorite: “You’re only manly if you’re obviously fertile”. (I come from a Hispanic culture. Don’t get me started.) (Disclaimer: If you want kids, more power to you! But neither of us… Read more »

James Rye
James Rye
3 years ago
Reply to  Natasha

Plus you can still adopt in case you guys want to have a child couple years later.

FITCamaro
FITCamaro
3 years ago
Reply to  Natasha

You’re free to have your opinion. But personally, I think it’s pretty sad and disheartening when I hear that people’s reason for not having kids is “we prefer stuff”.

The Legacy
The Legacy
3 years ago
Reply to  FITCamaro

Considering how close the world is to another major conflict, I think not having kids is wise, because it would be terrible to raise them in such a world right now.

Bottleface
Bottleface
3 years ago
Reply to  FITCamaro

It’s not just wanting stuff. Children are expensive, not just financially but also emotionally. They require a great deal of energy and it completely changes your life. Having a kid is a major life shift that affects your job, your relations with other people, your free time and your finances among many other things. There are so many reasons beyond being able to afford nice stuff and experiences.

Natasha Cover
Natasha Cover
3 years ago
Reply to  FITCamaro

With both of us working we barely make enough to afford our home. I should mention we both have college degrees, bought the bare minimum we could live in, and are working jobs that pay above minimum wage. So no, neither of us wants to have kids that we’d have to support because then we’d both have to work our asses off even more than we already do and never get to see them. We like being able to go out to eat twice a month, and occasionally catch a movie, and pay our WoW subs. If we save for… Read more »

LexTalionis
LexTalionis
3 years ago
Reply to  FITCamaro

@The Legacy – that’s got to be the dumbest logic I’ve ever heard. If previous generations thought like you, we’d have died out long ago, when the world was a much harsher place. I have five kids, and no matter how bad you think the world is, as a parent you have the ability to make it better for your kids.

Him.
Him.
3 years ago
Reply to  FITCamaro

WoW subs?
I think that’s your problem right there 😉

FITCamaro
FITCamaro
3 years ago
Reply to  Natasha

And miscarriages are always a risk. But the joys of parenting are worth that risk.

Natasha Cover
Natasha Cover
3 years ago
Reply to  FITCamaro

Miscarriages in my case are an 80% risk, and that is something that neither my fiance nor I could bear. It would break our hearts and shatter us.
And I’m very happy that you love all of the joys of parenthood, but please accept that not everyone feels the same way or wants children. We’ve both known for years that we had no desire whatsoever to have them.

Him.
Him.
3 years ago
Reply to  FITCamaro

I think FITCamaro is assuming that you are talking about like a 5% risk or something, not 80%.

Tumbleweed
Tumbleweed
3 years ago
Reply to  foducool

Get a dog instead.

foducool
foducool
3 years ago
Reply to  Tumbleweed

I have a cat already lol

Him.
Him.
3 years ago
Reply to  Tumbleweed

You can’t teach a dog to pull off the King’s Fall.
Well, not easily.

Sir tricky
Sir tricky
3 years ago

That time flies far too quick and then you wish you had it back, early mornings and every bit you hated in between, but there’s always grandkids.

chris feltner
chris feltner
3 years ago

13 years? i think at 13 years old be able to get up dress themself and fix there own breakfast and lunch and get to the bus on there own…..says the one that could sleep past the end of the world and whos mom almost always cooked breakfast and fixed his lunch

Jéquiyot
Jéquiyot
3 years ago
Reply to  chris feltner

Up through my senior year of high school, my mother still had to push me out the door in the mornings. Half the time, she had to actually pull my bed sheets off to get me out of bed.

Nomad
Nomad
3 years ago
Reply to  Jéquiyot

My mom was former military. NOBODY slept in on school days.

foducool
foducool
3 years ago
Reply to  Nomad

was she doing the bugle call?

Gnarph
Gnarph
3 years ago
Reply to  foducool

As a former NCO and current parent: there are a LOT of more fun ways to get someone out of bed in the morning

foducool
foducool
3 years ago
Reply to  Gnarph

idea #1: bed frame on hydraulics

DannyboyO1
DannyboyO1
3 years ago
Reply to  Gnarph

I dunno. The bugle fits into a wonderful category of things that are effective, yet won’t ever involve defending your actions before a judge.

Nealithi
Nealithi
3 years ago
Reply to  Gnarph

I was thinking bugle call would irritate neighbors.

Tom B
Tom B
3 years ago
Reply to  Gnarph

The Master Corporal in charge of my training section was fond of 4:45 bagpipes in the barracks. You just *don’t* sleep through bagpipes at high volume.T

ReiverCaptain
ReiverCaptain
3 years ago
Reply to  Gnarph

My parents just got my Jack Russell to bark at me. Or try to get me to play by chewing on my hand or something. Wasn’t a bad way to get up, honestly. Playing with a dog and all.

Nomad
Nomad
3 years ago
Reply to  foducool

Nope. Nothing more needed than her Command Voice. Perfectly calibrated over 20 years of service for that steely tone that conveyed the message of “get up, time to get your ass in gear”

She wasn’t a hardass by any means. Just raising three growing boys while our dad was working on the other side of the globe.

foducool
foducool
3 years ago
Reply to  Nomad

ON THE GROUND AND GIMMIE FIFTY!

Kai
Kai
3 years ago
Reply to  Jéquiyot

Same here, the greatest thing about graduating and getting a job in my opinion hasn’t been the money, but getting to sleep in two hours later lol I HATED getting up at 5am *shudders*

Still, I hope your kid has a good school year and not too many problems, best of luck to you and he ^^

Kaelin
Kaelin
3 years ago
Reply to  chris feltner

Got myself a GF.. gf has a 13 year old.. it aint no picnic.

I’m supprised the kids lived this long.. and I haven’t strangled him.. or gone balt with frustation. 13…. yeah… things are.. interesting at 13.

*SIGH* i ‘guess’ I can go walk the dog.. give me a few minutes while I finish insulting people online….

Alex
Alex
3 years ago

I feel you there. Daycare and school really kicks your nuts every weekday morning. I have to take the bycicle to work afterwards to calm down 🙂

Darrell Impey
Darrell Impey
3 years ago

He’s started school?
How long have I been reading this #%!#$ comic?

FITCamaro
FITCamaro
3 years ago
Reply to  Darrell Impey

Well over a decade here. I started in 2006.

Scott
Scott
3 years ago
Reply to  FITCamaro

I started reading in high school, and I graduated in 2003, so that means…oh god I am so old

brihno
brihno
3 years ago
Reply to  Scott

It’s okay– you get used to the pain of being old after a while and it hurts less. Either that or your nerve endings are just dying because you’re old…

Tom B
Tom B
3 years ago
Reply to  Scott

Wish I was ‘so old’. I graduated in 1987 and I’m facing 49 in a few days. Once you hit this end of the age track, you start thinking about how to take care of your family if something happens to you, how to ensure they’ll be okay, how to make the time you have count (which is something you just never think of until you are past 40 or have a health crisis or lose someone near your age prematurely). I wish I was only 33-34 again. Getting old comes with so many parts not working as well as… Read more »

Catiff
Catiff
3 years ago
Reply to  Tom B

Oh my God. You’ve just explained everything in my head exactly as it’s playing out in my head. Graduated in 87, hit 49 back in July, and look on it all as “This is Halfway…OH LORD, THIS IS HALF WAY!” Someone needs to invent a better way to clone bodies, or something…

Phill
Phill
3 years ago
Reply to  Scott

Started around the same time *High Five* but I was in middle school.

Twilight Faze
3 years ago

As someone who also works from home and makes his own hours, the perk is you can shoo them out and then go right back to bed. Granted, I’m single with no kids and do this for my niece from time to time, but still: it works :3

J.R.
J.R.
3 years ago
Reply to  Tim

Oh, it gets even better. Just wait until homework and sports start to rear their ugly head. We have four boys two playing football and two playing soccer. There isn’t a free moment from the second they get home from school until they are arguing because it is bedtime.

Croi
Croi
3 years ago
Reply to  J.R.

Homework is a moronic system that needs to go away. Homework should be any work you didn’t finish in the classroom and had to turn in.

Ariane
Ariane
3 years ago
Reply to  Tim

This is how I ended up sliding my alarm from 615a (fine for one kid in daycare) to 520a – that extra hour in the morning is when I try to jump start my day with exercise, packing things, work, and now homework since I started classes again last week (genius idea…).

I occasionally sneak in an afternoon nap tho!

raven0ak
raven0ak
3 years ago
Reply to  Tim

Can I suggest then to adopt little bit earlier wake up cycle, and tune rest of day on that timetable; works great and is less pain in butt in long run.

The Legacy
The Legacy
3 years ago
Reply to  Tim

I mean, one perk about school, is that a gives you free time with the wife, right?

Ron
Ron
3 years ago
Reply to  The Legacy

Free time with the wife is what got them into this mess in the first place. He’s already in for 13 years of early mornings, why would you suggest he risk it going to 19?

LexTalionis
LexTalionis
3 years ago
Reply to  Tim

You think that’s bad – my wife is a rockstar who homeschools all 5 of our kids. Try that on for size…lol

Kindakanish
Kindakanish
3 years ago
Reply to  Tim

You can always homeschool

Alex
Alex
3 years ago

Y tho? I mean, when he’s around 14 years old he’ll be fully capable of making breakfast and going to school alone

James
James
3 years ago
Reply to  Alex

Think about the average teenager. Now think about how willing they are to actually get out of bed. That’s why.

Louw
Louw
3 years ago
Reply to  James

+1

foducool
foducool
3 years ago
Reply to  James

guess I wasn’t your average teenager…

Nealithi
Nealithi
3 years ago
Reply to  James

Raise an unaverage teen. I knew how to cook for the family before I was eight. And had my own alarm clock in my room because my parents had to be out the door for their own jobs by 0600.
Teach them how, then inspire them to like it.

BakaGrappler
BakaGrappler
3 years ago
Reply to  James

I was doing my laundry at the age of 7. I was a cereal child, and I still am for my breakfast. A way to save time on protein for B-fast is to make bacon in an oven, drain the fat on it, then store it in the fridge for fast crunchy goodness. I set my own alarm clock, I let myself out fo the house, and locked the door behind me. I unlocked the door when I got home, and then settled down in front of the TV or NES to keep myself occupied, since I was an introvert.… Read more »

merendel
merendel
3 years ago
Reply to  James

I was prety atypical then. I was up at 5AM for swim team practice from 8th grade all the way through high school. Admittedly my mother rejoiced halfway my sophomore year when I got my license and could drive myself to practice.
Took a while to really train myself to just roll out of bed when my alarm went off. had to set multiples at first but eventually it became less of a problem.

Canterrain
Canterrain
3 years ago
Reply to  Alex

Teenagers are basically hardwired to sleep as much as possible. Their bodies are going through massive growth and changes (second only to when they were infants, and think about how much infants sleep), and it needs all the energy it can get to keep up with it.
So yes, morning is very difficult for most teenagers. There’s been lots of talk about school starting and ending later as this would enhance learning from a biological perspective (you’d have the children learning when they are at their energy peek instead of building up to it).

Tom B
Tom B
3 years ago
Reply to  Canterrain

That idea is brilliant. School should map to optimal learning times.

Now, there are some atypcal kids. I used to get up at 0500 to do my homework before school in high school. I hated doing it when I was tired at the end of a day and I wanted to be on the tennis court or playing a game with friends.

Roger
Roger
3 years ago

I feel you Tim! But at least your son shows good taste: Zuma is my favorite Pup as well. 🙂

Dagobert89
Dagobert89
3 years ago

Look on the bright side now that you are awake you can play Video Games ^^

fingerlinger
fingerlinger
3 years ago

is he giving the finger from the bus?

foducool
foducool
3 years ago
Reply to  fingerlinger

lol no, waving back

?
?
3 years ago
Reply to  fingerlinger

He is 100% absolutely giving the finger from the bus. ?

I’m glad I’m not the only one who saw it that way.

Gabrielli
Gabrielli
3 years ago

I am literally reading/commenting on this because my son woke me up at 3:40 am. It’s all true. All of it.

Shrek
3 years ago

HOMESCHOOL,
but you still have to get up at 5:30 to feed the chickens, goats, and rabbits.

FITCamaro
FITCamaro
3 years ago
Reply to  Shrek

We’re starting to home school our 3 year old. And no chickens (other than in the freezer), goats, or rabbits.

Eldest Gruff
Eldest Gruff
3 years ago
Reply to  FITCamaro

That’s our plan; though our little girl’s only two.

Man, I wish I could have goats. I’m trying to get into cheesemaking, and that would be kind of awesome.

Gnarph
Gnarph
3 years ago

Aww the progression of the little dude’s face. “Yaaaaayyy lets play” … “Something wrong here” … “Ruh-roh…”

Destino
Destino
3 years ago

Man, I love your parenting comics, you must be a great dad. Keep up!

Eldest Gruff
Eldest Gruff
3 years ago

If your school system is anything like ours, it could eventually get even worse. K through 5 starts at 8:30; 6-12 starts at 7:30. You’d eventually be waking up an hour earlier, looking back at the grade school years when you could “sleep in” with fond memories.

foducool
foducool
3 years ago
Reply to  Eldest Gruff

7:30? WTF that’s way too early to learn shit

FITCamaro
FITCamaro
3 years ago
Reply to  foducool

It’s because the school systems use the same buses. So they need to get the earlier kids there sooner so they can go pick up the high schoolers.

I went to private, Catholic school and our first bell rang at 7:15 for elementary, middle, and high school. And we went later than either of the public schools. Public elementary gets out at like 1:30. Public high school at like 2:30. And that’s not even on early days. We went until 3:15. Then they wonder why the kids don’t learn anything.

foducool
foducool
3 years ago
Reply to  FITCamaro

ooooh lol my parents were driving me to school (until I got to middle school, then I had to go there on my own because bikes rule!)
we don’t have an extensive students pick up service here in France, at least, not that I know of
I saw small busses doing that, though, but I don’t think they’re owned by the school, probably hired by the city

FITCamaro
FITCamaro
3 years ago
Reply to  foducool

Yeah my schools didn’t have buses since it was private. My parents dropped me off and they’d either pick me up after it was over or we’d walk home.

Louw
Louw
3 years ago

Did he really throw a middle finger out of the bus?

Dorsai
Dorsai
3 years ago

No and it does not stop at 18 if your college student lives at home….

Eldest Gruff
Eldest Gruff
3 years ago
Reply to  Dorsai

If I one day have an 18-year-old who lives at home and is going to college, she can get herself up.

FITCamaro
FITCamaro
3 years ago

I get up at 5:15 to get to work by 7. We are home schooling both our boys (3 and 6 months) so my wife sleeps in until they wake up. So 6:15 if she’s lucky right now. But eventually right?

And yes our 3 year old socializes just fine.

Twooey
Twooey
3 years ago

Going through this.

Casra
Casra
3 years ago

My son is 19, my daughter 18, both have their adult lives they are moving on to do “Life”. I still remember holding my daughter, seeing my son for the first time when he was 3 months old, I was the first one off the ship when we returned from deployment. That all could be yesterday, I miss those days sometimes. HOWEVER, having the place to ourselves again has some value.

Dan
Dan
3 years ago

You work-from-home-self-employed butt…

Canterrain
Canterrain
3 years ago

“Are your pants on backwards?”

Hahahahaha… I’m not laughing because I’ve asked the same exact question to my five year old while getting ready for school… nope..

nope…

nope…

stop it! Shut up! I’m not crying you’re crying!

aaron Smith
aaron Smith
3 years ago

well you could take turns sleeping in lol

Ray
Ray
3 years ago

It’s only thirteen years if you don’t have anymore. My oldest was ten when my wife told me we were expecting another.

Chris
Chris
3 years ago

My son loves paw patrol too. (At least the toy kinda looks like Zuma). 🙂

Steve
Steve
3 years ago

Congrats! My first started kindergarten today too. Many tears were shed.

Man of the West
Man of the West
3 years ago

Moral of the story: The school schedule has us forever. We do our time and get free for a bit. Then we have kids and school once again takes a 13 year bite out of our asses.

Robert
Robert
3 years ago

My high school kids have what is called zero “0” hour for marching band…I have to drop them off by 6:10am. Since we live in a rural area the middle schooler gets on the bus by 6:20am. That does not take into account some of the after school activities, sports and other things the kids do. It does make for busy days, but while the days seem long, the months and years FLY by.

Erik B
Erik B
3 years ago

It is comment sections like these that make me glad that my wife and I have chosen to not have kids. We already need to wake up at 5:30 to get our own asses in to work. To add in a child needing to go to school sounds like not fun to me.

I judge no one for their desire to have kids, but boy it sounds rough sometimes.

To those of you keeping our species going, kudos for your hard work!

Tom B
Tom B
3 years ago
Reply to  Erik B

My daughter started the monthly female cycle at 10.5 years of age. I shouldn’t have to buy the shotgun and the wood chipper for her early boyfriends this soon…. That said, she brings a light into my day that even my wife can’t match. Her hugs could realign your spine but let you know how much she loves you. Her smile is radiant. Her red hair is like spun copper. And she says the darndest things – things that make me tear up, laugh, or roll my eyes. She’s not biologically mine, but I’m doing my damndest to be a… Read more »

foducool
foducool
3 years ago
Reply to  Tom B

“he might have been your father but he wasn’t your daddy”
(oh my fucking god this sounds really bad when it’s said to a girl…)

Gavin Edginton
Gavin Edginton
3 years ago

My dad got mean with his wake up calls some times. One time he wired a car alarm in the hallway outside our bedrooms. But you will only have to wake him up for a few years.

Zman27
Zman27
3 years ago

Well, if my parents were to be a comparison, you could probably make due with dealing with it until they’re 8/9, provided adequate lessons were given on responsibilities, duties but most importantly, choices and consequences (this is from the sub-continent though, mind you. With that said, a generally negative response to the query “what if I don’t go to school for no good reason?” tends to be a good deterrent for repeat occurrences). Also from the same vein of comparison: if you get kids within 2-3 years, apparently you can relegate the more tedious parts of the procedures to the… Read more »

Tom B
Tom B
3 years ago
Reply to  Zman27

The elder kids often get relied on to take care of and even be responsible for their younger siblings when they are not even legally fully eligible to be considered responsible for themselves. This is age old, but seems a bit unfair to them. They didn’t choose to have younger siblings, so saddling them with the mantle of their care and supervision seems a bit like off-loading the pain from those parties (the parents) who made the decision to have additional children. That’s not so kosher in my eyes. My step-daughter’s dad has had two more and they are about… Read more »

Halosty
Halosty
3 years ago

I was responsible for eating my own cereal and packing my own lunch (or I ate in the cafeteria) from 2nd grade (ish), and I walked to the bus stop (only a street away in our neighborhood) so…

If you succeed in making your kid responsible, you might not have to do that much for too long. On the other hand, good parenting doesn’t guarantee children who are responsible so maybe you *will* have to deal with this stuff for 13 more years.

Halosty
Halosty
3 years ago
Reply to  Halosty

I of course recognize there are other parental duties that continue through this point- but you won’t necessarily have to get up early to prep them.

Aaron Smith
Aaron Smith
3 years ago

So i know this is probably not the case, but the pic of the bus pulling away is probably showing him waving. but it very much looks like he is flipping the bird.

AlexPace
AlexPace
3 years ago
Reply to  Aaron Smith

I came here to say this as well

kane
kane
3 years ago

Same here mate! First day in the ‘reception’ aka year 0

The rAt
The rAt
3 years ago

Wait, wait, wait. Wait.

You’re a fair bit further along with this dad thing than me – and you’re telling me there’s a stage where they *don’t* wake you up with the sun?

I’m pretty sure cautious optimism isn’t the emotion you were attempting to elicit here, but that’s what I’m choosing to get out of this.

Dakala
Dakala
3 years ago

My dad’s strategy was always to hit the test button on a battery-operated smoke detector and toss it into the room like a rather noisy grenade if I slept through my alarm. Nothing quite like a shrieking, beeping bit of plastic wailing away somewhere in your room for you to find, which forces you to get out of bed. By 13, I’d learned to put my alarm clock on the other side of the room, to prevent me from turning it off while I slept. Amazingly, the need to get out of bed to silence the screaming alarm clock works… Read more »

Nick
Nick
3 years ago

I had this same realisation last year at a very early Kids party that my son had been invited to on a Saturday!
Not that I’d have to get up early, that I’d have to put up with these other morons (parents) for another 6-13 years!

SylntSyco
SylntSyco
3 years ago

I didn’t come in here expecting to have this vision into my future to be thrust into my face.

My son is only 16 months old right now, but…. maybe staying on midnight shift to see him off at the end of my day will work better in the long run…..

Steve Berliner
Steve Berliner
3 years ago

Tim, your artwork of “normal” human figures is starting to remind me of PS238. Your expressions in that final panel are what sparked the comparison.

Christopher
Christopher
3 years ago

Why is the first image of the backpack green, and then blue for the rest of them?

Verdiekus
Verdiekus
3 years ago

Is this the first time you’ drawn your wife in a comic?