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Long Live The King

December 7, 2018 by Tim

I don’t know about other parents, but I have found one of the most challenging aspects of having kids is not letting them know how amusing I find some of their bullshit.

Take this with a grain of salt, because my kids are young; I haven’t gotten to the part where I have to worry about them doing drugs, or dating or whatever. I guess in the grand scheme of things my challenges are pretty quaint at the moment.

But you can not laugh when they’re doing something they’re not supposed to. No matter how cute, no matter how funny, if they see you smile, that’s it. You’re done. Pack it up and go home, you’ve lost the high ground, Anakin.

My wife is better at this than I am. My maturity level is about that of our five-year-old anyway, so I laugh at the dumbest shit. And then I’ve gotten the kids going, and I’m getting the “get your shit together” look from her.


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foducool
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foducool

a true god among men

mandoschMUh
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mandoschMUh

Priceless. I really feel your struggle, man. Although I’m not a parent, I can imagine how this might be, as I’m quite a childish character myself. At times, mind you 😉

Tumbleweed
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Tumbleweed

Yikes, the “get your shit together” look.

Scortch
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Scortch

I’ll freely admit to failing at this more than a few times my friend. That’s why my wife tends to be the disciplinarian more than I.

Martin Edlich
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Martin Edlich

One time at the dinner table, one of my sons used words I did not like so I told him to use another language. Then I got the exact same words, just in english (normaly we speak danish). Try to keep a straight face at that one…

Alex
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Alex

Know exactly what you’re talking about and also having a hard time dealing with my amusement during those times. Wifes will always better than us.

morgs
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morgs

“and I’m getting the “get your shit together” look from her.”

I don’t have kids yet, but having just got married it’s not too far away. I can already imagine the looks I’ll be getting!

Tae Seager
Guest

The first time they use “fuck” in context is gold.

Thomas
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Thomas

Only gets worse at age 8….

James Rye
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James Rye

Yeah, I bet most women feel like they got one more child in the family to take care of than the men do. xD

Aaron Watry
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Aaron Watry

I have gotten almost those exact words from my wife multiple times in the past.

MadKiefer
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MadKiefer

You guys hide that fact? Heck, we established this from day one: my wife has her first and second child.
Me and our daughter 😉

Jason Tompsett-Ince
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Jason Tompsett-Ince

Amen, BROTHER!

Herr_Underdogg
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Herr_Underdogg

Welcome to the struggle, man. It’s a war, and we all know, war never changes…

mandoschMUh
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mandoschMUh

And then comes the day when your children are grown up and going their own way, having there first own apartment…and ol’ Tim goes like “War….has changed…”

Sob
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Sob

Jesus christ. I mean just what the fuck is this shite?

Robert Loughrey
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Robert Loughrey

If you dont have glasses get a set. Then when they do that drop your chin, cover your mouth with your hand and look over the top of the glasses at them like your considering how your taxes might change if sold them to the circus. Works every time.

Amanda B
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Amanda B

The struggle is real! This comic made my morning. I have an 11 year old, 9 year old, and 4 year old. All boys. You can imagine how hard it is. The bonus is the 4 year old tries so hard to be like his big brothers, so he picks up on everything they do/say/watch. So they will say something inappropriate, and then the 4 year old will immediately repeat it, and then you are trying not to laugh while scolding both of them and thinking “he’s gonna have some great memories of all the bad stuff his older brothers… Read more »

TL Sheff
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TL Sheff

GOLD! So accurate. Mine is only 3 but she’s slowly turning into a little sasshole. Only problem is my household is reverse and I have to keep Mom in check because she will egg it on and giggle and I have to be the strong one. So… Difficult… Ugh…

Giuliano
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Giuliano

My wife and I lost this battle so long ago (a 14 year-old son and a 8 year-old daughter).
However, we managed to raise well educated, and a little clownish, children.We had a lot of fun.
However, I sincerelly admire your nerve Sir!

Brad Robnett
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Brad Robnett

You’re doing fine. As a parent of three twenty-somethings I can say that I have zero regrets about laughs we have had around the dinner table. If I could change anything I would like to tell my younger self to lighten up a bit. Remember to respect your kids as real, growing people who will one day soon, surprise you with their maturity and character. You have the privilege of watching them grow while you gradually change the measure of how much to protect them while you to teach them to protect themselves. The real challenge is figuring out how… Read more »

Croi
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Croi

Say what you will about anything else, you know the author really is both a gamer and a parent *LOL*

Jeff
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Jeff

I have this struggle every day with my 2 year old. She knows comedic timing too well, especially for things she’s not supposed to do. Then there’s the foot stomping tantrums that are sometimes just too cute but I know I shouldn’t grin at her getting mad and throwing a tantrum.

Bernie Margolis
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Bernie Margolis

My biggest challenge was refraining from trolling my kids. When we went to Disney World, I told my four year old daughter that we were going to the Magic Kingdom and that I was secretly the king. She kept denying it, but the look on her face was priceless when the bus driver called her “Princess.” The most frequently asked question that she asked my wife that day was, “It’s not real, right, mom?” because I was on the other side whispering, “Everything here is real.” When she was in kindergarten, she mentioned playing tag in P.E. “You’re lucky,” I… Read more »

Him.
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Him.

You guys had to wrestle bears? That’s ridiculous and so hyperbolic that no one would ever believe it. Still, they had us do some pretty harsh things way back when. When I was in 4th grade, we had people doing push-ups one at a time while the rest fought off a vicious horde of weasels!
…also, I’m pretty sure that if I have kids they will have a college level vocabulary by 7th grade.

CTowns
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CTowns

I sincerely hope he reads your comics and ….”below-blurbs”? I don’t know what the after-writing is called.

Christopher
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Christopher

I don’t have kids, but this reminds me of a moment with a very young cousin of mine. He hit me in the… between the legs, and I scolded him saying that wasn’t funny and he should never do that. Once he was out of sight I collapsed to the floor in pain.

Jason
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Jason

I have a 4 year old son with autism and two other kids… Life is a little more challenging for him, so I have to make an extra effort to ensure he’s doing what he needs to. He also has zero impulse control, which causes some… Interesting situations. One of the things I’ve had to put extra effort into teaching him is picking up his food of it falls of his fork. He isn’t very good with utensils or coordination in general, so when I ask him to pick it up, he always fights it. One time in particular, he… Read more »

Blump Shartcracker
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Blump Shartcracker

New meme format right here

Mike
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Mike

Yeah, my parents have told me about having to keep cool in the face of some of my antics. And I was a naughty little boy, too, with routine trips to the principal’s office and lunch/recess detentions.

MidnightDStroyer
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MidnightDStroyer

Not only that, but he also sent his kid to bed without dessert.

Diamond655
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Diamond655

“You’ve lost the high ground, Anakin.”

Tim is a prequel memer confirmed?

Jeremy Corbyn
Guest

I’ve had punched that kid square in the face. You have to teach them while they are young.

keenan sneddon
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keenan sneddon

Oh mate, my oldest is 4 and we were at the park eating chips when the requisite seaguls came to steal our stuff. One comes close and the oldest chases it off, it comes back again and she chases it off again. It flew over head for a while and landed, started walking towards us and the 4yo stood on the table and at the top of her lungs, screamed “GET YOUR OWN CHIPS YOU ACCIDENT CHICKEN”. Iv never had to hold in a laugh so hard, telling her off for yelling and standing on the park table was the… Read more »

Christopher
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Christopher

Accident… Chicken? That’s a new one.

Jess
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Jess

As my dad would say, “little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems” enjoy it while you can and the problems are still cute.

Madcap_Magician
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Madcap_Magician

OK, a couple months ago my son (7) got into a minor fistfight at school. Specifically one of his friends punched him in the chest, so my son knocked him down. Fortunately the principal e-mailed me and my ex-wife about it before I found out in person, because it turns out they were arguing about whether specific Star Wars characters were canon or not. Took me a few hours before I could talk to him and sound vaguely stern.

Expecto
Guest
Expecto

Oh god yes. I’m usually better at this than my husband, because he and our son share the same dorky sense of humour – terrible dad jokes, fart jokes etc – and often we’ll find ourselves having to duck out of the door of our son’s room, hide in the hallway for five seconds, silently killing ourselves laughing, then take a breath and go back into the room to get the kid the heck in bed and stop doing shenanigans. Really, it was only kind of funny the first two times. Get the hell in bed, boychild. One time completely… Read more »