24

Triggered

December 19, 2018 by Tim

I finished my single player playthrough of Red Dead Redemption 2 (some Epilogue not withstanding). It was a huge, majestic, cumbersome, plodding adventure, and I loved. I loved it for its excitement, its twists and turns, but also for its relaxing inbetweens. Rarely does a game feel so rewarding for just doing nothing. Some of the detail in RDR2 is mind-boggling, and while you can make an argument that Rockstar’s controls are a little clunky at times, there’s something to be said for just taking your time searching drawers or harvesting plants. If there’s a game that begs to not be rushed through, it’s this one.

In honor of completing at least the main story, I present a compliation of every Horse Wipeout from my entire playthrough this past month. Whether I was busy staring at the mini-map, or just expecting my horse to show some common sense, I was so amused by the physicality of the “horse crashes” in this game, I saved every single one.


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foducool
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foducool

“c’mon timmy, stop playing Civilization and go to bed”
“aw, daddy, just one more turn”
“one more turn? ONE MORE TURN?”

Kyo
Guest
Kyo

Hahaha. Holy shit this is my existence with Civ.

Just one more turn.

One more turn.

One more.

Ok last turn.

….Ok now this is the last turn.

Ok just one more.

FITCamaro
Guest
FITCamaro

I played Civ 2 on Playstation. At the end game, NPC turns took an hour to process. An hour.

One more turn meant something then.

Jsn
Guest
Jsn

Yea,

I know the pain, the most trouble i had was with trees.

Riding through the forests at night can be quite deadly.

Grolsch
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Grolsch

So the horses in the game are just repainted motorcycles from GTA 5?

Ryan
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Ryan

That he just has to aim at trees and rocks every time.

gnarph
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gnarph

LOL it’s like an extended p.s.a. video of what happens when you don’t obey traffic laws. “This is Tim. Tim doesn’t obey traffic rules. *Horse scream* *Crunch* Don’t be like Tim.”

FITCamaro
Guest
FITCamaro

My screen nearly had cereal on it from this.

maarvarq
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maarvarq

The “horse crashes” were hilarious (being thrown by clipping one lamp post straight into another – ouch!), although the game missed a Warner Brothers cartoon moment when you were thrown onto the railway track and not immediately run over by a train!

tdue21
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tdue21

My thought exactly. 😀

DannyboyO1
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DannyboyO1

Horsecrash: Eh. It’s a thing. No big deal. 20 dreamcatchers to magically discern where to find an item that lets you… hold a bowstring longer. As if you were ever going to run out.: That… wasn’t really worth it. Getting to herbalist 9: This thing is lying to me about the compendium being useful here… because it doesn’t count any I already got. Why is this in here? This can’t be worth it. Horsemaster 10: So, like the plant one, but they run away. *sigh* The biggest highlight was getting a shiny stupid hat off a mountain. It has a… Read more »

Dale
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Dale

I have never laughed so hard this early in the morning watching that video of the horse crashes…excellent work on putting that together. My workmates are wondering why I have so many tears running down my face now…

Marcus
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Marcus

That video was totally worth watching just for the carriage one. “Howdy folks, don’t mind me… just catching my breath a little bit.”

Brent
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Brent

I’m looking at this on my phone right now, and in a huge bit of irony, the horse crashes viewing window says that the server’s address cannot be resolved. In other words….it crashed

Brent
Guest
Brent

Loaded now, and I love how often Arthur seems to hold a seated position after crashing, like he’s saying, “No, no, NO! I’m still on Horsington, dammit!”

Crisis
Guest
Crisis

Rider: I think I need a new horse.
Horse: I definitely need a new rider.

Seth
Guest
Seth

The horse breed (or maybe “handling”?) seems to matter. My white Arabian got killed (during the stupid #@!%ing side mission that kills horses!!!) I grabbed another whatever-I-had from my stable and looked like an eight year old on a sportbike – I couldn’t go 10 feet without crashing into something.
Video had my laughing pretty good – thanks for sharing.

Matt
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Matt

I haven’t played the game, so i’m not really sure of the animal mechanics, but the designers seemed to have missed the mark. One of the advantages of riding a real horse is that the animal knows how to climb down hills, jump fences, not run straight into walls..etc. What they should have given you was an animal that you could coax into a direction but ultimately it would ride around objects or jump them or not run into a wall no matter how much you taunted them. And the more you ride it, the easier it is to control… Read more »

inverted4life
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inverted4life

What they should have done is just given the player full control of the horse. What you see in this video is the result of games trying to make horses smart and failing. I hate playing games with horses these days, because they all try to have “smart horses”, and they all fail, and I end up fighting with the controls to try and get a horse to go where I want instead of just having full control like I should.

Sean
Guest
Sean

Did anyone notice he somehow get’s a bear’s head falling down the mountainside at 3:27?
WTF?

FITCamaro
Guest
FITCamaro

I did notice that.

Hrafn
Guest
Hrafn

He already had that on, watch it again and try to pause before he goes flying.

CGFighter
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CGFighter

After that horse wreck fest compilation, I’ve changed my opinion about intellect of Roach from The Witcher 3.

Tales
Guest
Tales

I just enjoy the comment that one of the NPC’s had when you fell off the horse at 1:44 “Oh that’s embarrassing”

SephDragoon
Guest
SephDragoon

Alright, enough horsing around.

Tobby
Guest
Tobby

Actually when riding through a forest, as tempting it is to steers the horse, don’t. Keeping a straight line, the horse will avoid almost all obstacles by itself. Learned that when i was to focused aiming behind me and forgot to control the horse.
”How the hell did i not crash into a tree?” some flashback from the witcher 3 and some experiments later, i reduced my collisions rate by a big 70% ? Still have to time your jumps though…

Also: a burst of short whistles make horse come to you faster apparently. That too was a nice discovery.

inverted4life
Guest
inverted4life

The problem is “almost all”. Personally, if they can’t get rid of the almost, I don’t want the system in the game at all. Give me full control and let me steer as I wish instead of making me fight with a horse that’s trying to ignore me steering it where I want it to go because it thinks it knows better where I want it to go, but it doesn’t.

inverted4life
Guest
inverted4life

Poor kid. Daddy should have known better. Daddy shouldn’t have fallen for Dutch’s lies. Didn’t daddy play the first game? Did daddy forget everything he learned about Dutch in the first game? ?

…Should I stop saying daddy so much now? (yes)

Croi
Guest
Croi

You did better than me, then…I’m not finished with the game just yet and I already have a seven minute video of every time I crashed my horse…I’m in Chapter 3…

Kindakanish
Guest
Kindakanish

Tim please stop drinking and RDR2ing…

Erich Krueger
Guest
Erich Krueger

I was in Cinematic Mode riding in to Saint Denis the other night and MY HORSE CRASHED. Rode STRAIGHT INTO an oncoming horse. Everyone lived, thankfully.

Kaelin
Guest
Kaelin

I kinda wanna know the story about the horse on a roof?

Mickey
Guest

It is nevertheless great, nevertheless, you however have the possiblity to
lose that hands occasionally and that affects your odds of successful
any given event.