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The Starcaster Chronicles 06.05

May 25, 2018 by Tim

As a result of some nonsense enacted by people that live an ocean away from me, we’ve updated our privacy policy, effective today. Your continued use of this website shall be construed as consent to all said policies, as well as forfeiture of a 1/644th ownership stake in the upper quadrant of your “Soul,” the exact portion of which to be determined by us (“The Company”) at the precise moment of your departure from your mortal coil. This agreement is binding, irrevocable and enacted in perpitude through your subsequent lineage, excluding, but not limited to, every third male heir.


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Gnarph
Gnarph
3 years ago

Do my Miranda rights still apply?

Brent
Brent
3 years ago
Reply to  Gnarph

Only if you actually know someone named Miranda.

Robert
Robert
3 years ago
Reply to  Brent

But you still need Miranda’s consent.

Gnarph
Gnarph
3 years ago
Reply to  Robert

But… but… Miranda is insisting I say who I was with last night and I really want the right to remain silent and the right to an attourney (and considering the look in her eye possibly the right to medical attention)

Conan Of Loxley
Conan Of Loxley
3 years ago

Funny how your privacy policy starts with “Your privacy is important to us”… except of course the privacy of European users, because that one is nonsense? Besides, I’m pretty sure GDPR doesn’t apply for this website:

https://www.workplaceprivacyreport.com/2018/01/articles/international-2/does-the-gdpr-apply-to-your-us-based-company/

Mr B
Mr B
3 years ago
Reply to  Tim

You could have one 2576th of my soul. And you’d get a free pick on any part, not only the upper quadrant. If i had one.

Anyway, thank you for the comics.

Conan Of Loxley
Conan Of Loxley
3 years ago
Reply to  Tim

Whoops. I only read the post until the hyperlink which I followed to read your policy… Of which I also just read the first line ?

Dave
Dave
3 years ago

Woah… from that link; if a web site offers “provides translation in the language of an EU country, or markets in the language of an EU country” then this thing applies. The language of Ireland (not to mention UK, which has still not Brexited yet) is English… doesn’t that mean that virtually every website on the Internet is covered? Crazy.

chris feltner
chris feltner
3 years ago
Reply to  Dave

yea thats my question why would he care if hes in the usa go by our laws they cant expect him to follow there laws if he is not living or visiting there and even so how are they expected to monoter every website to make sure they are happy is crazy. so what id someone over there decides web comics are illegal to make is he going to stop making them to keep them happy? or that all comics must be screened for content before they are put out in the wild and charged $50.00 usd per page and… Read more »

padagi
padagi
3 years ago
Reply to  chris feltner

Who does the GDPR affect?
The GDPR not only applies to organisations located within the EU but it will also apply to organisations located outside of the EU if they offer goods or services to, or monitor the behaviour of, EU data subjects. It applies to all companies processing and holding the personal data of data subjects residing in the European Union, regardless of the company’s location.

https://www.eugdpr.org/gdpr-faqs.html

Gnarph
Gnarph
3 years ago
Reply to  padagi

That’s what the law STATES, but if its enforcable is another kettle of fish entirely. For a law to have an effect in another nation it would have to be formalized in a treaty between the two countries and ratified by a law in the other country. One could probably argue that this site doesn’t “advertize its services” anywhere but on this site which is based in the US. If an EU national goes and retrieves data from this site they have come looking for the site. If a Frenchman drives a car in the US does he not have… Read more »

James
James
3 years ago
Reply to  Gnarph

It’s easy saying “Oh, ‘xyz’ is an American company, therefore American laws apply, and users in ‘abc’ country have no rights”. But that’s not strictly true if company ‘xyz’ is actually operating inside ‘abc’ country and has data centres there. It’s actually more of a grey area than you would think. All of these multinational companies will have (or use) data centres around the globe, for example; when I use Facebook, the servers that I interact with and that use and store my data are all in Ireland, not the US. So, if Facebook is involved in the European market,… Read more »

hwertz
hwertz
3 years ago
Reply to  Dave

” The language of Ireland (not to mention UK, which has still not Brexited yet) is English… doesn’t that mean that virtually every website on the Internet is covered?”

I’ve had enough Brits say they are speaking proper English while we in the US do not, that I’d be perfectly willing to say my site’s in American, not English 😎 (In all seriousness, I wouldn’t bother; I agree fully with GDPR’s principles of being able to get one’s personal info expunged from a site if they wish and being able to find out what’s done with it otherwise.)

James Rye
James Rye
3 years ago

Yes, soldier, this pretty much means war as this means the empire never had a 2nd Starcaster and we wasted our time in a cold war letting our forces be stagnant while theirs grew.

tiamatt
tiamatt
3 years ago
Reply to  James Rye

Ehh, possible but if their cold war was anything like the US-Russia one then I would imagine the Federation would at least be trying to keep up a large force just in case, especially since the other side isn’t exactly hiding that giant fleet at the edge of the border.

Cedric
Cedric
3 years ago

Sorry but the GDPR is a result of sleazy companies, they are just taking action about it.

Hamby
Hamby
3 years ago

It may be nonsense to all you colonials, but here in Europe we actually take privacy quite seriously. But never worry, the NSA is looking out for you 🙂

Mr B
Mr B
3 years ago
Reply to  Hamby

Balls. Here in Europe we spy just as much on each other, as NSA spy on the Americans. Don’t fool your self. Hell, it’s even worse then that. Here in Sweden, the law is crystal clear. FRA has no right to process traffic that does not cross the Swedish border. There is no agency outside FRA that can see what FRA really does with the traffic, so, no enforcing of that rule. On top of that, FRA cooperate in ongoing “training” scenarios where all the traffic they siphon of, gets sent to American, among others, (generally speaking Nato) counterparts, so… Read more »

FITCamaro
FITCamaro
3 years ago
Reply to  Hamby

You mean with your even more massive surveillance state than we have here in the US? Yeah. Europe is real good on privacy.

Ven
Ven
3 years ago
Reply to  Hamby

Oh yes, I’ve heard how seriously you take it when it comes to people saying mean things about immigrants online. Remember, that kind of thing is just part and parcel of living in a big city!

Seriously….you people need to revolt. Find a harbor, throw some crates of tea into it.

Mr B
Mr B
3 years ago
Reply to  Ven

The reality is that the average “Joe Sixpack” is more concerned with Facebook, and the infinitely small risk of terrorism attack, then privacy. I mean, how can you even create a law that forbids a government agency (FRA) from spying on the citizens of the country, and simultaneously maintain that no external control group, no third party, no government officials can verify that the law is actually followed? (The reasoning is that only “need to know” people gets to take part of what FRA actually does with the data they receive. They claim to just discard all data associated with… Read more »

Brent
Brent
3 years ago

Quelly!!!

So I guess at this point the only thing left for him to figure out is which of the ships had the girl that maggot from the academy talked about. Hope it wasn’t too windy down there…

And phew, Grinny’s not there. Doubt Quell thinks it’s on ship three, but…..this is definitely one Holmesian motherfucker, and I kinda hear American Benedict Cumberbatch for him. He’ll track it before long…

The Grin
3 years ago
Reply to  Brent

I’m still here, I’m just a little busy picking shrapnel out of my teeth.

King of the Damned
King of the Damned
3 years ago

My third male heir? Tim, You wan’t my cat’s soul? Hmm, now I think about it.. you may as well.. he’s not using it….

Hamstermer
Hamstermer
3 years ago

Glad you updated your privacy policy and alerting us, it is nice to know who is claiming access to our Souls.
Wait what

Ven
Ven
3 years ago
Reply to  Hamstermer

I’ve agreed to so many EULAs without reading them in my life that, when I die, EA is going to get 1/375 of my soul, and it’s going to be evenly distributed to every other game manufacturer on the planet. Even the dead ones like Atari and THQ. Maybe it might be used in a resurrection ritual to bring them back to life.

Jonathan Logsdon
Jonathan Logsdon
3 years ago

Ha ha. Jokes on you I have no soul.

FITCamaro
FITCamaro
3 years ago

Silly ginger.

14th time unlucky
14th time unlucky
3 years ago
Reply to  FITCamaro

No, I think Jonathan is a Nobody

Jonathan Logsdon
Jonathan Logsdon
3 years ago
Reply to  FITCamaro

Born ginger. Hair got darker as I got older

Marcus
Marcus
3 years ago

only 1/654th? please! take more! nobody else wants it…. :/

Andreas
Andreas
3 years ago

Even more sad that some nonsense enacted by people that live on your side of the ocean resulted in this new regulation.

Andrew
Andrew
3 years ago

Then I bid you and your site adieu. I am afraid that myself and my lineage do require said 1/644th of our souls and cannot therefore agree to your new policy.

Farewell~

Eldest Gruff
Eldest Gruff
3 years ago

Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.

SilverShadow4
SilverShadow4
3 years ago
Reply to  Eldest Gruff

Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fhtagn!

demoncat_4
demoncat_4
3 years ago

sad that due to the behavor of some we can’t have nice things like this site. as for cort one should n’t worry about him for he has proven to be tougher then one thinks even getting out of tight situtations he is now in

Cryptic 6
Cryptic 6
3 years ago

Calm down, Tim claimed your soul like 15 years ago.

Mistborn
Mistborn
3 years ago

Darn. Guess I can’t keep reading then. No soul to give.
Wait. Do you accept souls of others in places of ours?

Andy
Andy
3 years ago

Tim,

Please clarify. When you say “every third male heir”, do you say that to mean my third born son, my great-grandson, or both of those and any other combination of heirs adding up to the “third male heir”?

If the last, do I need to submit any forms upon the change of “third male heir” or is that automated in your system?

AndyW
AndyW
3 years ago

If people want to adjust the permissions on cookies, is there a link to do that? Or was it set up as a one-time thing?

SilverShadow4
SilverShadow4
3 years ago
Reply to  AndyW

Cookies options are in your browser settings

Man of the West
Man of the West
3 years ago

The board is set. The pieces are moving.

The Grin
3 years ago

Not very good reception down here, glad I can still get the comic.

Juzek Powruzek
Juzek Powruzek
3 years ago

Your post sums it up nicely Tim. Everybody and his brother is sending me emails how much my privacy is close to their hearts, and yet somehow all the time everybody and his brother is calling me offering everything from eternal life to eternal damnation included. And cheap to boot. Is there any chance to put link to this in my emails to exact vengeance on them?

Ven
Ven
3 years ago

Okay, Tim, I’m sorry to draw your attention on something that isn’t comic related, but you run a business AND are way smarter than me. What does this whole OMFGWTFBBQ thing in Britain mean? Does it effect people who are mere lowly consumers in any way? Should we care? Do I need to get the torches and pitchforks and throw ANOTHER rebellion against England? The last one was real fun.

The Legacy
The Legacy
3 years ago
Reply to  Ven

The best way to describe it, is that the Europeans or reacting to some of the abusive measures that companies like Facebook have been using, to collect data, and using that data to profit from it. From there, it even led to groups like Cambridge Analytica to use it for political means. These changes should hopefully prevent a recurrence, if I understand the legislation properly. For most people, this simply means that most websites will now require you to reconfirm your email address for subscriptions, but that’s about it. And, in the case of this website, since Tim sold the… Read more »

NJB
NJB
3 years ago
Reply to  The Legacy

This, exactly.
However, the tone of that message is toeing a fine line between “humour” and “pretentious dick”, especially with the opening line.

The Legacy
The Legacy
3 years ago

The game’s afoot. I’m intrigued to see how this plays out.

raven0ak
raven0ak
3 years ago

If you want to thank somebody of that new legislation, look no further than global-scale companies on your side of ocean:)

Illsteward
Illsteward
3 years ago

Hi Tim! Great to see the Starcaster Chronicles rolling. It’s awesome story and while it departed from the “choose your own adventure” style of writing, it still feels very natural and good. I also love the jab at GDPR. It has been a pain in the bottom in my company since september, but I understand – and share – your point of view. While having good intentions, the entire regulation (heck, from the point of international law, it’s not even legally binding in some EU countries!) is hardly prepared as it should, despite two years grace period between introducting it… Read more »

Christian
Christian
3 years ago

“Your privacy is very important to us”
.
.
.
“Do Not Track” Signals

We do not support Do Not Track (“DNT”). Do Not Track is a preference you can set in your web browser to inform websites that you do not want to be tracked.
You can enable or disable Do Not Track by visiting the Preferences or Settings page of your web browser.

Well…